Ways things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in South
Georgia

   1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders;

   2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle;

   3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty
      bag;

   4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw";

   5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos;

   6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse;

   7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk
      redneck yelling "Freebird!";

   8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be
      Achy-Breaky Heart;

   9. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt";

  10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul
      C++";

  11. Winders 95 logo would incorporate Confederate Flag;

  12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word;

  13. Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have KKK servers;

  14. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!";

  15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz";

  16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am;

  17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse;

  18. Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver;

  19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire;

  20. Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in
      your front yard;

  21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator;

  22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates;

  23. Redman plug'n'play interface;

  24. They could still use Ky-row as code name for next upgrade, but 
      Albenny would be the one after that;

  25. Screen saver would be a kudzu vine which would consume your program
      manager;

  26. Instructions for use would include "mash the control key.";

  27. The HQ building will be a double wide on cinder blocks, because
      MICROSOFT is hyear to stay.

