             SHOULD A CHRISTIAN DATE A NON-BELIEVER?
 
    I walked out of someone's life today.  It was someone whom I
thought of as very special. But it was solely my choice.  I ended any
chance of a relationship with her from developing any further than it
did.
 
    Let me tell you about an experience which I had during a five week
period from January 18 to February 22, 1990.  While at work for only
one week, a new girl started on  January 24.  I will call her "Nancy".
I became attracted to her, and she to me.  Soon after we met, we began
taking breaks, having lunch, and leaving work for home together.  One
week later, after work, we were walking around in the Eaton Center.  I
thought, since we both were attracted to one another, I'd tell her how
I felt about her.
 
    So, I did.  We proceded to the Bloor Subway Station and sat down
on a bench.  We talked about becoming good friends and the prospect
of a future dating relationship. It was a very fruitful talk and we
were both very happy about it.  I knew Nancy was not a Christian, but
I felt that the Lord had brought us together for some reason.  I was
very attracted to her.  She had a very sweet disposition and she was
very attractive.
 
    During the next week, we spent more time together.  After work,
we would go to the Eaton Center and walk around and talk.  We would
buy each other lunch.  We often sat by ourselves during break, and to
eat lunch just to get to know each other better.  She was very suppor-
tive and encouraging regarding certain incidences pertaining to job
interviews, phone calls, and other things.  One day during break, we
sat with two female co-workers, Natalie and Helen.   We talked about
relationships.  Nancy and I offered little hints about what we liked
in a relationship as all four of us chatted back and forth.  These two
co-workers became very supportive for Nancy and I to get into a dating
relationship.
 
    Nancy had many good points about her.  But like all of us, she had
some bad points about her.  She appeared to be like a Jeckyl & Hyde.
She was different in the office than she was after work on our way
home.  She told me things that I didn't quite think was the truth, but
I gave her the benefit of the doubt.  On Monday, after our Friday talk
in the Bloor Subway, she seemed unwilling to communicate, and talk
about our talk on Friday.  She sometimes used Jesus' name as a curse
word.  She was impatient at times with me.  A couple or so times she
showed disrespect towards me.  She displayed an egotistical attitude
when I had to take care of my banking and she refused to come with me,
but always expected me to go with her to the Eaton Center to do what
she wanted to do.
 
    There was one other guy working with us (let's call him Charlie),
whom she would talk to quite often.  Natalie, Helen, and I noticed
that she seemed to be attracted to Charlie as she would often to spend
more time with him in the office, and on breaks than with me.  There
was something not quite right about this (Helen and I thought) because
Charlie was married, and Nancy knew that. There were some indications
that she wanted to have an affair with him.  One morning as I walked
into the work area I saw her and Charlie holding hands.  But Nancy
took her hand away when she saw me coming.  This was the straw that
broke the camel's back.  I began to lose faith in the possibilities of
a future dating relationship with her.
 
    On the Thursday, two weeks before our last day, Natalie, Nancy and
I went to the Eaton Center.  We went to the fast food area and began
to talk.  Nancy started to tell us how much she liked Charlie and that
she wanted to have an affair with him, regardless if he was married or
not.  I had been praying for her salvation but I knew I had to witness
to her and had prayed that God would open up the door to do so.
 
    I talked to her about what the Bible says about marriage. I quoted
Matthew 19:6, "what God has joined together, let no man put asunder".
Half way through, she confessed she was only leading me on, and that
none of it was true.  However during our time remaining, and the hand-
holding incident, I noticed little things which indicated she was not
joking about having an attraction for Charlie (a happily married man).
 
 
    I didn't like this.  There was something not quite right here.  I
began to think of her as an "evil woman".  I lost respect for her. I
began to distrust her.  But I continued to pray for her salvation, and
for conviction of sin in her life.  When I told her that I was praying
for her, she almost threw a cup of water at me.
 
    While we were walking to the subway, through the Eaton Center, I
asked her if we could exchange phone numbers.  She told me she would
give it to me tomorrow night.  I thought I still wanted to continue a
friendship and witness to her as well.  I thought if I could lead her
to Christ, the Lord would open up the door for us to begin a dating
relationship.
 
    But during the last week, I began to test my purposes for praying
for her.  Was I praying for her salvation just so I could one day have
a dating relationship with her, or was my motive for praying for her
so  that she would come to Christ regardless of whether we would date
or not.  When I tested my attitude, I found that the first was more
true than the other.  I found myself seeking for her salvation, just
so I could date her.
 
    I also asked myself, and tested my reasoning for wanting to be
with her.  Was it her personality, or her looks that I was attracted
to?  I found that the latter was more true than the first.  Thirdly,
was my attraction to her out of love or was it out of lust?   I found
the latter to be more true than the first one.
 
    I prayed to the Lord for His wIll to be seen in my life.  I had
been wondering why the Lord brought a non-Christian into my life.  I
thought that it was for a future dating relationship.  Then I realized
that is was for the purpose of writing on this subject.  On our last
day of the job, at 11:30 am, I went off to pray.  I told the Lord
that I wanted to honor Him, and going out with a non-Christian would
not be honoring Him.  I then asked the Lord to provide a way for me
not to be in a situation that I would be asking Nancy for her phone
number.  When I went back, my supervisor approached me and asked me to
make a delivery.  She informed me that I didn't have to return after
making the delivery.  I said my goodbyes to everyone, but I did not
personally bid Nancy goodbye.  When I looked at her, she had her head
down.  I then left and walked out of her life.
 
    Now I ask you brothers and sisters:
 
    SHOULD A CHRISTIAN DATE A NON-CHRISTIAN?
    SHOULD A CHILD OF GOD BECOME INTERESTED IN A NON-CHRISTIAN?
 
    I suggest that nobody who is a child of God do what I did.  As I
said above, it was not the Lord's will for me to be with Nancy, but
for me to go through this experience to write this file.  I had been
thinking about writing on this subject for some time now.  The lord
prepared this so I could help others and relate to them who are in a
similar, or even an exact situation.
 
That's why the Lord Jesus came as a baby and lived for 33 years among
us.  The Bible says: "For in that He Himself hath suffered being
tempted, He is able to succour them that are tempted",  Hebrews 2:18.
"For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feel-
ing of our infirmities, but was in all points tempted like as we are,
yet without sin.  Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of
grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of
need", Hebrews 4:15-16.
 
    So, should a Christian date a non-Christian?  To date or not to
date, that is the question!  I'll begin by defining what a date is.
I'd like to answer that by asking you (my readers) a question; What do
you think is the difference between a social outing with a friend of
the opposite sex and a date with a friend of the opposite sex?  In
other words, what makes going out with someone a date?
 
    Some people might say; a special engagement, special arrangements
are made, the two make a commitment to one another, going somewhere
or doing something that you would not normally do with your friends,
others would say that intimacy is involved.  Dating is a special comm-
itment whereby arrangements are made to set apart time for each
another, after the idea of a more closer and committed relationship is
either discussed or insinuated.
 
    There is nothing wrong with Christians having acquaintances and
friendships with non-believers.  There is also nothing wrong with,
once in a while, getting together with our unsaved friends and going
out with them.  But we should be careful where we go with them, such
as what kind of restaurant we go to, or what kind of movie they want
us to go with them to see.
 
    Thomas Adams had this to say about friendships with unbelievers:
"All company with unbelievers or misbelievers is not condemned.  We
find a Lot [sic] in Sodom, Israel with the Egyptians, Abraham and
Isaac with their Abimelechs; roses among thorns, and pearls in mud;
and Jesus Christ among publicans and sinners. So neither we be infect-
ed, nor the name of the Lord wronged, to converse with them, that we
may convert them, is a holy course.  But still we must be among as
strangers; to pass through an infected place is one thing, to dwell in
it another".
 
We as Christians can't isolate ourselves from the world.  We have to
be able to live in, and interact with others in this world.  How else
are we going to witness to them and tell them about Jesus!  However to
go beyond friendship with someone who is not a child of God to the
point of dating or marriage is forbidden in the Bible. "Be ye not
unequally yoked together with unbelievers:  for what fellowship hath
righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with
darkness?  And what concord hath Christ with Belial, or what part hath
he that believeth with an infidel?  And what agreement hath the temple
of God with idols?  For ye are the temple of the living God...",
2 Corinthians 6:14-16.
 
    To  be unequally yoked means to be incompatibly  joined  together.
Paul goes as far as to compare the two as being totally opposite;
Righteousness and unrighteousness, light and darkness, Christ and
Belial, believer and infidel.  In my opinion, dating a non-Christian
is the same as dating someone who is an enemy of God.  It is equal to
the  equation:  Christian is to friend of God as non-Christian is to
enemy of God.  Jesus said: "He that is not with me is against me;  and
he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad", Matthew 12:30.
 
 
                         THE DATING HANG-UP
                             COMPROMISE
                         ++++++++++++++++++
 
    I think many Christians today, in 1990, are strung out on one main
hang-up of dating; falling into the trap of COMPORMISE.  Fred Hartley,
from his book called "Dealing With Peer Pressure" said; "The worst
enemy of true Christianity is false Christianity, or Christian
compromise".  There's a lot of Christians our there who are violating
their own Godly standards just to date a non-Christian.
 
    Here  is a letter from Pat Hurley's book, "PAT ANSWERS". It is
written by a teenager who is dating a non-Christian and wishes to keep
on dating him.
 
 *    "Dear Pat:
       My boyfriend isn't a Christian.  I love the Lord, and I feel
       like He wants me to continue dating Steve.  My parents and my
       youth pastor disagree with me.  What do you say?"
 
Pat's reply to her was;
 
       "Dear Dete:
        The Bible is the Word of God. It is true and it is to be
        trusted above our feelings.
        The Bible says that if you're a Christian, then you belong
        to Jesus Christ. He owns your heart, your mind, and your
        body. You don't belong to anyone else.
        Your boyfriend, no matter how caring, moral, sexy, or
        committed to you doesn't know Jesus Christ personally.
        The two of you serve different gods.  Eventually that will
        become critical to the potential of your relationship with
        Steve.  As long as you serve different gods, you will take
        different courses from each other.
        You're not stupid. You may be stubborn. You may be independ-
        ant. You may be loyal. But you're not stupid.
        The truth of God's life in you will eventually win over your
        emotions. Deep down you already know that.  I trust Him, and
        I trust you.
        Read Rom. 12:1-2."
 
    God has set before each and every believer His standards for us to
live by.  The Bible contains all that God wants his children to know
about His pattern for Christian living. Pat requested that this young
girl read this passage in Romans which lays out the way God wants us
to live; "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God,
that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto
God, which is your reasonable service.  And be not conformed to this
world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may
prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God",
Romans 12:1-2.
 
    Paul presents two major thoughts in this passage: 1) We are to use
our bodies to the glory of God and do the things that are glorifying
to God, as well as living a holy, clean, and pure life, because our
bodies belong to God.  And 2) We are not to use our minds for the
purpose of world, nor set our minds on the world.  But set our sights
on seeking for the will of God for us.
 
    Violating His standards is a compromise. The word compromise comes
from the Latin word conpromittere which means "to promise".  According
to the Webster's Dictionary, compromise means; to adjust, settle, or
to reach an agreement by mutual concession.  The trouble with this is,
that we as Christians feel we can bargain with God using trade-offs.
That's what a compromise is.  It is trading Godliness for worldliness,
or for something in between.  God does not bargain with us when it
comes to such things as unequal yokes.
 
    God demands holiness from us.  In Leviticus 11:44 He says; "For I
am the Lord your God: Ye shall therefore sanctify yourselves, and ye
shall be holy; for I am holy".  To be holy means to be pure, undefiled
and clean.   We can only maintain our holiness if we obey what God's
word commands us to do.  In 2 Corinthians 6:14 God's word tells us not
to be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever.
 
    The main issue here, in dating a non-Christian, is compromise.  As
I said above, compromising is a trade-off with God, which violates His
standard of living in the Christian's life.  Through compromise, the
Christian also falls into sin because of disobedience.  They are
allowing the worldly lifestyle of the unbeliever to over-ride God's
principles of righteous and holy living.
 
                         Three Symptoms of
                         the Dating hang-up:
 
    Personally, I don't see any point in dating a non-Christian.  If
marriage is the result of a successful dating relationship, then why
date someone who you are forbidden to marry.  If you think relation-
ships are hard with someone in the faith, would it not be twice as
hard with someone who is not in the faith?  And if you think marriage
with a believer will be difficult just imagine being married to a
non-believer.  It simply will not work.   Billy Graham said "If you
marry an unbeliever, you are also getting the Devil for your father-
in-law".  The three symptoms of the Christian's hang-ups on dating are
listed below.
 
Symptom #1:  As Paul illustrates above in 2 Corinthians 6:14 the two
===========  are total opposites of one another.  Which is obviously
             indication that both have different interests and goals
in life.  And when one person in the relationship is not walking with
Christ, this only opens the door for personality clashes, conflicts,
friction, hurts, disappointments, troubles, etc.  All this stems from
both having different goals and interests.  The interests of the
Christian are centered around Christ and the Bible.  The interests of
the unbeliever are centered around worldly pleasures and living it up.
Dating someone who you have nothing in common with and who sees Jesus
differently than you do can be very discouraging.  Sooner or later,
one of you is going to get their way with the other.  Usually it is
the unbeliever who overpowers the Christian which draws the Christian
further into sin and away from God.
 
    I hope as you read this that you are  seeing how unattractive
relationships with non-believers can be.  I know some of you are read-
ing this and you might be saying "that's not true, we have a good
relationship.  We have a lot of things in common and we never fight
about anything".  Well, I'd like to redraw your attention to part of
Pat Hurley's answer to Dete who felt it was God's will that she keep
dating her unsaved boyfriend:
 
*      "Your boyfriend, no matter how caring, moral, sexy, or
        committed to you doesn't know Jesus Christ personally.
        The two of you serve different gods.  Eventually that will
        become critical to the potential of your relationship with
        Steve.  As long as you serve different gods, you will take
        different courses from each other".
 
    The deal is that no matter how good or right a relationship seems
to be going with an unsaved person, it is not right with God.
Eventually, because of all the frustrations and differences that
accompany a believer/non-believer relationship, both will lose
interest, the relationship will go stale, and  each will go their own
separate ways.
 
    The Bible says: "But if ye bite and devour on another, take heed
that ye be not consumed one of another. This I say then, walk in the
Spirit and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh
lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and
these are contrary the one to the other; so that ye cannot do the
things that ye would", Galations 5:15-17.
 
    In Romans 8:9 The Bible's comparison of two spirits declares
ownership; "But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be
that the Spirit of God dwell in you.  Now if any man have not the
Spirit of Christ, he is not of His", Romans 8:9.  If you are dating a
non-Christian, s/he does not belong to Christ, and (as Pat said in his
letter to Dete) is serving a different god.  That kind of relationship
is not at all attractive to me.
 
    I would be heart-broken all the time I was with her.  Why? Because
it would hurt to be with someone I really like in a relationship which
God does not approve.  My heart would be breaking for 3 other reasons;
1) This person is unsaved and on their way to Hell,
2) This person is rejecting Christ which in turn grieves the Holy
   Spirit and it hurts God,
3) I am not able to share Christ and have good fellowship with her the
   way I would like to, and would not be able to as I would with some-
   one who is a Christian,
 
    Jesus should be a big part of every believer's life.  I would have
such a desire to freely share Christ with my dating partner,  But I
would not be able to if Christ is excluded from my girlfriend's life.
That's why the Apostle Paul declared "for what fellowship hath right-
eousness with unrighteousness", 2 Corinthians 6:14.  Jesus must be #1
in every Christian's life, and in their relationships.  He must be
common ground in my life, and in the life of the one whom I am dating.
Otherwise, one will be a servant of Christ and the other will be a
servant of sin.
 
   Again, the Bible makes a comparison of the two; "That the right-
eousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the
flesh, but after the Spirit. For they that are after the flesh do mind
the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things
of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be Spirit-
ually minded is life and peace.  Because the carnal mind is enmity
against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed
can be.  So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God",
Romans 8:4-8.  A relationship in the flesh is not pleasing to God.
 
Symptom #2:  Question #1: What was the first thing that Jesus talked
===========  about in the Sermon-On-The-Mount?
             Question #2: What did God do after He created everything?
Question #3: What does God want to do more than anything for us as
believers in Him?  If you said blessing for all three, you're right!
God's will for us as believers in Him is to shower us with blessings.
He wants to bless us in every area of our lives.  The word blessing
comes from the old English word "bletsian" which means to consecrate,
glorify, or sanctify.  In relation to God's love toward the believer,
it means to give happiness and protection. The Bible says; "Blessed is
the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth
in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in  His law  doth he
meditate day and night", Psalm 1:1-2.
 
    From the above passage we see a picture of an upright man who is
walking with the Lord, and who really loves the Lord.  Also from the
above passage, we see that there are two conditions for God's bless-
ings; 1) that we avoid very close and friendly contact with those not
walking with God, and 2) that we obey God, and center our thoughts,
words, actions, and lives around Him.
 
    In relation to a dating relationship between a Christian man and
woman, obedience is the prerequisite for God's blessings between the
two.  In my own opinion, a dating relationship is in itself a gift
from God to both the guy and the girl.  And since dating is the pre-
requisite to marriage and marriage is the result of a successful
dating relationship, God's prerequisite for a blessed relationship
is that both lives be centered around Him.
 
    What benefit would there be for a Christian who dates a non-
believer?  The believer would lack everything the Lord has to offer
him/her.  How can God bless a believer's relationship if his/her
relationship is not built upon the Rock, but is built on sand?  There
would be double trouble.  It's not that God would refuse to bless you,
but that you would rob yourself of the blessings that God has to offer
you.  In relation to "double trouble", the believer would lack twice
the blessings of God.
 
    This is how; if you as a believer are dating a non-believer, you
rob yourself of the blessings you could have and you add to your life
the trouble(s) and hurts that come with dating a non-believer.  Here
are 2 other ways you would be robbing yourself of God's blessings two-
fold: 1) instead of your need for a dating partner being satisfied,
you now have an even greater need to get out of that non-Christian
relationship and then find the right dating partner.   2) Instead of
being able to share Christ with your dating partner, you now have to
try to prove Christ to your dating partner.
 
    Instead of having the qualities in your relationship you need, you
really have the qualities that you don't need.  That's what Paul was
trying to point out in 2 Corinthinans 6:14 when he asked; "what
fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness?".  An unequal yoke
will only place you on shaky ground.  It will lead you away from God,
and cause pain and suffering.
 
    We see this in the life of Samson.  Samson loved God and the Lord
blessed him with strength through his long hair.  But, Samson became
erotically attracted to a Philistine woman (Delilah) who hated God.
Samson began to compromise his Godly principles the minute he laid his
eyes upon her.  From that moment on his attraction to Delilah took his
life on a downward spiral.
 
    Delilah was a worshiper of the Philistinian pagan god Dagon.  She
did not serve the same God who Samson served and loved.  Samson went
away from God by getting closer to Delilah.  The closer he got to her,
the further away from God he went.  Delilah tricked him into cutting
his hair which the Lord told him not to cut.  He lost all his strength
and Delilah had the Philistines capture him and gouge his eyes out,
then bound him as a slave to grind in the prison house. Finally he was
chained between two pillars and put on public display in the pagan
temple.
 
    Samson, through his attraction to an unbeliever in God, robbed
himself of the blessings which God wanted him to have.  Instead of
receiving blessings, his life went downhill, right up to the taking of
the lives of the Philistines and ending his own life as well.
 
    Blessings will only happen if you as a Christian will obey God.
At the beginning of the Sermon On The Mount, Jesus said; "Blessed are
those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be
filled", Matthew 5:6.  Not only should our faith be founded on Christ
(the solid Rock), but also our entire lives must be built and centered
around Him.  That includes building our relationships with whom we are
dating upon the solid foundation of Christ.  In another place in the
Sermon On The Mount, Jesus said; "Therefore whosoever heareth these
sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man,
which builds his house upon a rock;  and the rain descended, and the
floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell
not; for it was founded upon a rock", Matthew 7:24.
 
   Therefore, if you want to avoid troubles galore and be blessed by
God, dating must be done (a) in the Lord, and (b) by the will of God.
When it comes to Christian dating, the one thing God wants to do is
bless your relationship, but is inhibited due to sin in the non-
believer's life.  A Christian/non-Christian dating relationship is
only second rate in the eyes of God.  God wants us to have a first
rate relationship.
 
    Wait on God for the right one; the one He has planned for you.
You will be glad you did and happier for the decision to wait in the
end.  The Bible says; "Trust in the Lord and do good so shalt thou
dwell in the land and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also
in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring
it to pass", Psalm 37:3-5.
 
 
Symptom #3:  I was saving the best for last.  Many Christians get
===========  involved with someone who is not a Christian believer in
             Christ, and so wrapped up with them, and will want to
remain dating them just so they can win them to Christ.  As I said
above, that was my only motive for being with Nancy.  I just wanted to
win her to Christ so I could date her.  Many Christians who thought
they could do this and therefore tried it, soon found out how hard it
was, and how wrong they were.
 
    Glen Eagleson, Minister with single adults at People's Church in
Toronto, tells of his experience of dating a non-Christian just ten
years ago.  Like other  Christians, Glen thought he could date her and
win her to Christ.  At first when they started dating, Glen was able
to bring her out to church quite often.  Then, slowly, she began to
come to church less and less, and eventually they stopped going all
together.  She and Glen began to do other things.
 
    Glen compromised his faith, which got him away from God.  This is
what he told me. "It got easier for me to do the things that she want-
ed to do than to do the things that I thought we should be doing.  I
think the biggest lie is that we could win them to Christ. My mother
always told me, 'It is easier to pull someone off the table than it is
to pull them on the table'. Of course, being the  average teen, I
didn't listen to her and after I was sorry that I didn't".
 
    This kind of dating is known as "missionary dating" and is done
with the wrong motive; to win them to Christ just so they will qualify
as the right dating partner for you.  It is a very selfish thing for a
Child of God to do.  It is selfish because our intention is not to win
them to Christ for God's purpose, but for our own purpose; just to
make dating them justifiable and acceptable to God.  Thus, whether we
realize it or not, we are only fooling ourselves, and we are deceiving
God.
 
    A Christian who does this is setting a bad example for the Lord.
Not only do you rob yourself of blessings, you take away your example
of the Lord in the eyes of the non-believer you're dating.  For one
thing, it shows them your weakness' instead of your strengths.  They
may be testing your strength as a believer in Christ (as non-believers
do) and if they see you are placing yourself into a compromising
position, they will judge you by that and reject the Lord in return.
 
    In his letter to the church in Ephesis, Paul wrote that we must
shine as children of light. Paul cautions us that a poor testimony
echoes our former worldly lifestyles.  "This I say therefore, and
testify in the Lord, that you henceforth walk not as other Gentiles
walk, in the vanity of their mind, having the understanding darkened,
being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in
them, because of the blindness of their heart...".  "That you put off
concerning the former conversation of the old man, which is corrupt
according to the deceitful lusts.  And be renewed in the Spirit of
your mind. And that you put on the new man, which after God is created
in righteousness and true holiness".  "Let no corrupt communication
proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edify-
ing, that it may minister grace unto the hearers", Ephesians 4:17-18,
Ephesians 4:22-24, Ephesians 4:29.
 
   So we must check our motives for whatever we do.  We don't sin in
order to bring someone to the Lord and then turn around and tell them
to repent of their sins and accept Christ as their Saviour. If we want
our lives to reflect Christ to the world, we aren't going to do it by
reflecting their lifestyle.  It is the same as becoming as hooker and
attempting to win the other hookers to the Lord.  The Bible says that
our actions must edify the whole body of Christ and that our lives
must be living testimonies of Him (Ephesians 4:16-17).
 
    We as Christians (like living plants) react to and adapt ourselves
to our environment and our surroundings.  What is going to happen if
we surround ourselves with the company of unbelievers?  The Bible
answers that for us: "Bad company corrupts good character", 1 Cor-
inthians 15:33.  If we place ourselves with bad company long enough,
we will begin to think and act like them.
 
    One final view on missionary dating is that we all know how hard
it is to try and win our family members to Christ.  Even to witness to
them and have them listen to us is a task and a half.  Our family
members will not believe us because we are so close to them and the
fact that living with them has made us vulnerable to ridicule and
scrutiny.
 
    The Lord Jesus had that exact problem in his very home town, and
even in His own home with His brothers.  In Mark 6:4-6, the Bible
says; "But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honor, but
in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house. And
he could there do no mighty work, save that he laid his hands upon a
few sick folk, and healed them.  And he marvelled because of their
unbelief. And he went round about to the villages, teaching".
 
    Jesus could not preach in his home village of Bethlehem, nor even
a few square miles within the town of Bethlehem.  Whenever Jesus did
preach, it was far away from his home town.  Why?  Because He was too
close to the people in that area.  So He went where He would not be
oppressed with such heavy unbelief.
 
    If you and I have a hard time witnessing to our families, and the
Lord Jesus Himself had trying times spreading the Gospel to the
villagers within His own home town, then would it not be just as
difficult to try to win the one you are dating to Christ?  It would
indeed be very hard.  And in conjunction with that, it would be very
tough to witness to them.  It might be fine at the start, but as the
relationship builds, tension and unbelief will also build.  As a
result, the non-Christian will want to hear less and less, and the
believer will be restricted to less and less witnessing.
 
    Here is an example of a Christian / non-Christian dating relation-
ship with a different twist.  I had one female friend tell me of her
experience with dating a non-believer.  My friend May was dating a
nonbeliever and was hoping to win him to the Lord.  After 4 months of
dating and failing to win him to Christ, she decided to end the relat-
ionship, and so she did.  After May and Jack broke up, he accepted
the Lord.  Jack was already searching for God, and did not want May to
think he accepted Christ because of her.  He also wanted her to know
that dating him was done for the wrong reason.  A couple of weeks
later, the two got back together, but five months later, May ended the
relationship because she felt it was wrong.
 
    The above example is a real life situation.  But please note that
Jack did not come to the Lord while he and May were dating.  He came
to Christ AFTER they broke up.  Jack knew that May's intention of
dating him to win him to Christ was wrong.  He also wanted to ensure
that his commitment to Christ was serious.  Jack had been searching
for Jesus Christ even before they began dating.  He had gone to two
counselling sessions at his church while they were dating, but he did
not inform May about this as he did not want her to believe that she
had any influence on his decision to come to Christ.
 
    There is a lesson to all this.  The lesson is this:   When you are
in an romantic relationship with someone, you are mainly concentrating
on getting to know the other person and spending time with them.  You
will not accomplish much in the way of winning an unbeliever to the
Lord while you are close with them; the closer you are the harder it
is.  And in this case, it was a non-believer who knew that this kind
of dating was wrong.
 
    I could sum it all up with the words of Thomas Watson; "Do not
incorporate into the society of the wicked, or be too much familiar
with them.  The wicked are God haters; and 'shouldest thou join with
them that hate the Lord? (2 Chronicles 19:2).  A Christian is bound,
by virtue of his oath of allegiance to God in baptism, not to have
intimate converse with such as are God's sworn enemies... The bad will
sooner corrupt the good, than the good will convert the bad.  Pharaoh
taught Joseph to swear, but Joseph did not teach Pharaoh to pray".
 
    So My beloved brothers and sisters in Christ, should a Christian
date a non-Christian, a non-believer, an enemy of God?  From the
information above, I'd say no- it will not work.  To requote the
Apostle Paul's words in 2 Corinthians; "Be ye not unequally yoked
together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with
unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?  And
what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that
believeth with an infidel?  And what agreement hath the temple of God
with idols?", 2 Corinthians 6:14-16.
 
           +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
            THE DATING GAME TURNS INTO THE WAITING GAME!!
           +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
 
    I'll be the first to admit, as a Christian who is not dating, it
is getting rather tough to find somebody out there in Singlesville.
I'm sure many of us have found this town of Singlesville dull and
boring, and we all would love to move out to a popular town just a
mile south called Dateville.
 
However, I would rather wait than date someone who is not the Lord's
choice pick for me.  And that is one tough cookie to bite into;
waiting.  Waiting is never easy, but if you have come this far with
out someone, you can go the next mile or two without someone.  To
compromise is to settle outside of the will of God.  To wait is to be
in the will of God.  Mainly, God keeps his children waiting because it
is not the best time for us, or because we are not ready for the right
dating partner, or maybe, they are not ready for us yet.  I've found
that the prime reason that God keeps us waiting is to teach us, and to
foster spiritual growth and development.
 
    There are so many reasons why God keeps us waiting for the right
one.  We pray and ask God to have us meet someone.  We often pray this
prayer; "Let the next one I meet be the one I'm going to marry".  But
it turns out to be just another relationship that ends in a breakup.
Why does this happen?  Often we are so anxious to be in a relationship
that we don't see the consequences of dating the wrong person.  So we
rush in and end up getting hurt.  I've done it, you (my reader) have
done it.  We've all done it.  We all rush ahead of the Lord.  So why
wait?  Because the Lord has a perfect plan for you and waiting is part
of it.   God offers us many promises for waiting upon Him:
 
"Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him."
                                   Psalm 37:7.
 
"For evil doers shall be cut off; but those that wait upon the Lord,
they shall inherit the earth."
                   Psalm 37:9.
 
"Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God,
the Lord, the creator of the ends of the earth, tainteth not, neither
is weary?  There is no searching of his understanding.  He giveth
power to the faint, and to them that have no might he increaseth
strength.  Even the youth shall faint and be weary, and the young men
shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their
strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run,
and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
                                      Isaiah 40:28-31.
 
    When I read the promises of God in Isaiah 40, it almost makes
waiting sound like fun.  But don't get discouraged, wait on the Lord
for the right one and you will be blessed, and more happy for your
decision to wait in the end.
 
 
======================================================================
                  (C) COPYRIGHT 1990 BY RON SINKO
 
   THE SEED SOWERS;
   COMPUTER BBS; (416) 498-5259, or, (416) 498-5962.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
*   Reference from page 5, and 6;
    Pat Answers, Pat Hurley, Copyright 1989, Word Inc,. Dallas, Texas.
    -Used by permission-
 
All information in "Should A Christian Date A Non-Christian"  may be
copied onto disc as you wish.  However, this article is protected by
copyright and nothing is to be changed, altered, added to, taken out,
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