
My Diary

.     October 2: Today my life began.  My parents do not know it yet.  I am as 
small as the pollen of a flower, but it is I already.  I will be a girl.  I 
will have blonde hair and blue eyes.  Nearly everything is settled already, 
even that I shall love birds. 

.     October 19: I have grown a little, but I am still too small to do 
anything by myself.  My mother does everything for me, although she still does 
not know that she is carrying me under her heart.  But I am a real person just 
as a crumb of bread is still real bread.  My mother exists, and I do too. 

.     October 23: My mouth is just now beginning to open. Just think, in a 
year or so I'll be laughing, and later I'll start to talk.  My first word will 
be "mama." 

.     October 25: Today my heart began to beat.  It will beat softly for the 
rest of my life, never stopping. After many years it will tire and stop.  Then 
I shall die. 

.     November 2: I am growing continually.  My arms and legs are taking shape, 
but I must wait a long time before these tiny legs will raise me to my 
mother's arms;  before these little arms will be able to conquer the earth and 
befriend people. 

.     November  12: Tiny fingers are beginning to form on my hands.  How small 
they are.  One day I'll stroke my mother's hair and tell her how nice she is. 

.     November  20: Only today the doctor told my mother that I'm living here 
under her heart.  How happy she must be!  Are you happy, mother? 

.     November  25: My mother and father are probably thinking about a name for 
me.  And they don't even know that I am a little girl, so they are probably 
calling me "Andy."  But I want to be called Barbara.  I am growing so big. 

.     December 10: My hair is growing.  It is as bright and shiny as the sun.  
I wonder what kind of hair my mother has. 

.     December  13: My eyes are almost fully developed, although the lids are 
still shut.  When mother brings me into the world it will be full of sunshine 
and overflowing with flowers.  I have never seen a flower, you know, but more 
than anything I want to see my mother.  How do you look, mother? 

.     December  24: My fingers and toes are fully formed. Even my nails are 
beginning to develop. 

.     December 26: I wonder if my mother hears the delicate beat of my heart?  
Some children are born with sickly hearts, and then the gentle fingers of the 
doctor perform miracles to make them healthy.  But my heart is healthy. It 
beats so evenly: tup-tup, tup-tup.  You shall have a healthy daughter, mother. 

.     December 28: Today my mother killed me.




.     God says, Lo children are an heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the 
womb is his reward. (Psalm 127:3) 

.     The Psalmist wrote, I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and 
wonderfully made.  Marvelous are thy works, and that my soul knoweth right 
well.  My substance was not hid from thee when I was made in secret and 
curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.  Thine eyes did see my 
substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, 
which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. 
(Psalm 139: 14-16) 

.     Isaiah said, That Lord hath called me from the womb; from the bowels of 
my mother hath he made mention of my name . . . And, now, saith the Lord that 
formed me from the womb to be his servant . . . (Isaiah 49: 1,5) 

.     God said about Jeremiah, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; 
and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee. (Jeremiah 1:5) 

.     God says,  Be sure your sin will find you out. (Numbers 32:23) 


