
Aussies in the Palace
submitted by Chris Davidson (3:850/110)

Two young Australians tracing their roots back to the old dart (UK),
found themselves down on their luck, what with all the unemployment
and all.

"We're bloody well broke," said Harry to his mate Dick during
breakfast in their run down Earls Court flat.  "And there's only
one answer---work. You know, get a job."

As the blood slowly returned to his mates face, he continued,
"I'll slip down and get the Times."

When he returned he was pointing excitedly to the positions vacant
ads. 

"Wanted, Footmen (2).  Apply Buckingham Palace."

So giving themselves a bit of a spit an polish, they went to the 
Palace to present themselves and their sad story of financial
disaster to the Queen's secretary.  He was quite impressed, and 
eventually said, "Well I'll have to see the Lady. She does all the
hiring and firing around here. Just wait in the anteroom and I'll 
see what gives."

After a short while the secretary returned, accompanied by the Queen 
who stated that, being aussies, they'd be quite unsuitable.

The reason being that whilst in the employ of Buckingham Palace, they
would be required to wear Black Velvet pantaloons, white stockings
and black shoes with silver buckles.

When they protested their eminent suitability, the Queen softened her
attitude and said: "Well, when we go to Balmoral it will be necessary
for you to wear the Kilt, and to wear the Kilt you must have good 
shapely legs."  After a moments hesitation, and the urgings of their
financial necessity, they both dropped their trousers for inspection.
"Very good, very good," muttered the Queen approvingly, "Now, could
we see your testimonials?"

As they walked down the drive of Buckingham Palace, kicking up the
dusty red gravel, Harry turned to his mate and said with a slight
tone of disgust, "Ya know, we mighta got that flamin job, if the
standard of education had been slightly higher in Wagga Wagga high
school...."                                                     {RAH}

