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           Call MoonScape BBS at 516-431-3271 with it!
           Put it under a door and you have a Door Stop
             Attach a stick and you have a Snow Plow
            Put it on a shelf and you have a Book End
     Put it on top of some papers and you have a Paper Weight
           Put some powder in it and it is a Bomb Shell
                  Throw it and it is a Baseball
                        There is no #7
    Put a Satellite Dish on it and you have Great TV reception
     Put some coils in it and you have a great portable heater
   Put some holes and tell your friends you bought it in Holland
        Attach balloons and it becomes a balloon holder
           Sell it to someone as a universal adapter
   Put a light bulb in it and you have a Decorative Walkway Light
          Use it as a coaster for your favorite drink
     Sell it to someone and tell him 300BPS is faster then 2400
     Give it to your Uncle, he'll find something to do with it
   Hook it on your TV and it is a TV adapter for your Television
                       Sell it as a Black Box.
             Save water by putting it in the toilet tank!
                         Use it as an anvil
          Isn't that the age at which you can LEGALLY drink?
       It could be one of those useless props at a school play
            Get a hammer and vent your stress out on it
          Make a few adjustments and turn it into a radio
                Use the parts to make a board game
                  Make a Nintendo game out of it
 Put in a processor and sell it as the world's chunkiest computer
   Take it out when the guests come over and it is a decoration
        Put it on the Christmas tree and it is an Ornament!
                    Use it as a Saxophone Damper
                  Make it into a parallel port DAC
                     Use it to make a model car
                     Trade it in for a new life
                        Use it as a footrest
      Take it to sports games and have it signed like a baseball
           Call up PROTOVISION with it (WarGames the movie)
         Pad it, cut it, and you have a new pair of knee-pads
                          Isn't that MTV?
                     Use it as a snow sampler
     Attach it to the Principal's Computer and say it is a tumor
          Cut some holes in it and use it as a Disk Store
      Sell the parts to a techie nerd and make a lot of money
               Use it to stop your car in an emergency
        Drop it off a boat with a string and it is an anchor
                   Use it to scan for fish in a lake
                 Make your phone into a speaker phone
  Take it to your next party and it will be the talk of the town
       Sell to the Tabloids and say it is possessed by Elvis
           Use it with your Lego's to make a computer
        Bang it on your bald head and instantly grow hair
                    Use it as a murder weapon
            Does there really have to be a number 52?
        Make some adjustments and it is an EPROM programmer
    Give it to Ray Charles and tell him it is endless "Uh, huh"
             Attach some strings and use it as a sled
              Attach roll bars and it is a dune buggy
            Use it to keep your dog in place in the yard
               Threaten your little brother with it
  Get a bunch of 300BPS modems and make a house out of them all
    Make it into a `Radio Flyer' by adding wheels and a pole
       Need a quick science project? Bring in your modem!
              Cut a hole and use it as a planter
  Strap it onto your head and pretend that you are Cadet Stimpy
      Get a few lenses, some film, and make a movie camera
    Get a plug, and send some voltage through someone's modem
   You know how there are `pet rocks'? How about a `pet modem'?
                           Throw it out
   Sell it to an idiot for $100 and buy yerself a faster modem
        Put it in the snow and use it as a depth meter
              Stick it on the wall and call it ART
                   Use it as a stepping stool
         Put pepper in it and it could be a pepper shaker
           Cut a hole in it and use it as a cereal bowl
        Paint it red play bocce (yard game w/heavy balls)
  If you are Jewish you could strap it on and use it as Tefillin
        If you have a big dog, give it to him as a chew toy
                   Cut a hole and put stuff in it
       Put it in the attic and one day, it may be worth MONEY!
                     Make a DollHouse out of it
                   A window box to put flowers in
                      Make it into a lantern
                     Give it to the neighbors
             Use it as a subject for painting (still life)
              Make it into a tunnel for your slot cars
                            Recycle it
               Put it by the door and call it "Matt"
              Throw it in the water and call it "Bob"
              Hang it by the door and call it "Bell"
                    Use it as a booster chair
                      Throw it in the lake
                 Give it to the phone company
                            Bury it
                Take it to Florida and sell it
                      Shape it into a Wok
                  Take it to an antique shop
                 Paint it all kinds of colors
                      Take it for a walk
      Put it on a hat and say "Well, what did you expect?"
 Go to the top of the World Trade Centers and THROW THE MODEM!
                  Anything that you want to!
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