OAK RIDGE FINALLY PUBLISHES HIGH TECH JOKE BOOK
And It's About Damn Time

November 22, 1993--Cupertino, Calif.--Oak Ridge Public Relations, Inc. has
finally announced the publication of The First, Advanced,
State-of-the-Art, High Performance, Totally Integrated, Revolutionary,
Leading Edge, High Tech Joke Book (TFASOTAHPTIRLEHTJB). This 210-page
volume is a collection of humor from around the world on technology,
computers, software, science and mathematics.

Originally forecast for publication in the fourth quarter of 1992, the
project schedule slipped during design verification and alpha testing.

"Sure, it's a year late," admitted Kathy Keenan, Oak Ridge's Empress of the
Universe, "After all, it's a 'software' project. We were following the
high tech industry tradition of announcing early and delivering late. But
this book is not vaporware. You can buy it now. Really!"

Two years ago, the Silicon Valley PR shop began soliciting jokes relating
to technology and science. TFASOTAHPTIRLEHTJB represents the best of a
mountain of humorous (and occasionally mysterious) input Oak Ridge
received from around the world. Engineers, scientists, trade press
journalists and researchers submitted riddles, puns, definitions, lists,
glossaries, shaggy dog stories, true stories and poetry on subjects
ranging from personal computers to quantum physics

"We had to eliminate the material that was obviously under copyright as
well as the ones no one could understand," Keenan said. "The more obscure
jokes were submitted to a scientific panel of technology experts for
review. If someone laughed, it went in."

The most-frequently-submitted joke was the following:

Q: How many software engineers does it take to screw in a
   lightbulb? 
A: None. That's a hardware problem.

The flip side of this also came in:

Q: How many hardware engineers does it take to screw in a
   lightbulb? 
A: None. "We'll fix it in software."

Some technical definitions:

Attenuation:    One less than eleven-uation. 
Bare Conductor: The band leader at a nudist colony. 
Literal:        A simple but powerful method of writing the
                answer in by hand. 
Mnemonic:       Something the precise use of which one forgets.
Prototype:      A program that does not work perfectly but is
                still better than the one you eventually get. 
Test data:      A collection of variables consisting of all those
                values for which the program will work.

TFASOTAHPTIRLEHTJB is compact, measuring 5.5" x 8.5" x .5". It is enclosed
in a rugged, multi-color paper chassis. The unit comes fully loaded with
all features required for use, including backlit screen simulation using
high resolution black type on a white background. No battery, cabling or
additional documentation is required. TFASOTAHPTIRLEHTJB comes bundled
with BASE (Basic American Standard English), Release 1993.11.

TFASOTAHPTIRLEHTJB is priced at $14.95 in single unit quantities and is
immediately available. (Price includes handling and shipping.) It may be
ordered by sending a check to: Oak Ridge Relations, Inc., 21771 Stevens
Creek Blvd., Suite 203, Cupertino, CA 95014-1175. Residents of California
please send $17.81, which includes state tax. For information about
discount pricing for orders of five or more, call Oak Ridge at
408-253-5042.

TFASOTAHPTIRLEHTJB is also available at selected retail book stores,
including the Computer Literacy Bookshops in Vienna, VA and San Jose,
Sunnyvale and Cupertino, CA.

Background: Oak Ridge Public Relations, Inc. is an eight-year-old agency
specializing in high technology public relations. The agency's motto is:
"Do good work. Get results. Have fun." The agency's staff still hasn't
figured out what this would be in Latin, and would appreciate some help,
here.

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