 YOU MAY BE AN ENGINEER

        If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"
        If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
        If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
        If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas
        If Dilbert is your hero
        If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
        If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
        If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
        If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
        If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the
        	decimal point in the right place
        If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
        If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
        If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than
       	 hanging coats and taping ducts
        If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to
       	 find the burnt-out bulb in the string
        If you window shop at Radio Shack
        If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest
       	 sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
        If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area
        If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test
	that actually takes five minutes to run
        If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door
        	opener and your camera's flash attachment
        If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
        If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
        If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
        If you own "Official Star Trek" anything
        If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside
        If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the
      	  antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
        If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
        If you are currently gathering the components to build your own
        	nuclear reactor
        If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
        If you have never backed-up your hard drive
        If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing
        	games, but are afraid to say it out loud
        If you truly believe aliens are living among us
        If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
        If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"
        If you see a good design and still have to change it
        If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your=20
	questions
        If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
        If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music neverenters
	your mind
        If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember
        	where they are
        If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your
	automobile tires
        If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you
        	own turns bread into charcoal
        If you have more toys than your kids
        If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
        If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
        If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
        If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
        If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush
	up to the front to fix it
        If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
        If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel
        	and have seen most of the shows already
        If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what
        	RPN stands for
        If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV
        	with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew
        	up thinking that was normal
        If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size
	screw driver to use
        If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
        If people groan at the party when you pick out the music
        If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week
        If you did the sound system for your senior prom
        If your checkbook always balances
        If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
        If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
        If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers
        If you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they
        	didn't get enough sleep
        If you spend more on your home computer than your car
        If you know what http:/ stands for
        If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
        If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage
        If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to
        	explain atmospheric absorption theory
        If your lap-top computer costs more than your car
        If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar  4.
        	Chocolate (or Chinese, pizza, beer, salt substrates - jg)







