Archive-name: folklore-faq/part1
Last-Modified: 94/11/1
Version: 2.50

30 November 1994

      Official Usenet Alt.Folklore.Urban Frequently Posted Legends

      "I will set down a tale...it may be history it may 
       be only a legend, a tradition.  It may have 
       happened, it may not have happened.  But it could 
       have happened..."

                       -- Mark Twain [via Christopher Neufeld]


TABLE OF CONTENTS TO THIS AND THE OTHER PARTS OF THE FAQ LIST

Part 1   - Introduction to the newsgroup and the FAQ list.
   [This document]

PART 2  - General administrative and other notes on urban
    legends (ULs) and the newsgroup (e.g., bait for
    for "trolling.".

PART 3  - Major Categories of ULs Covered in the FAQ:

PART 4  - Credits and some references


======================================================================
=====

1.  INTRODUCTION TO THE FAQ POSTINGS FOR AFU:

The newsgroup alt.folklore.urban (AFU) is devoted to the 
discussion and debunking of urban legends and other related 
issues.  This is Part I of the Frequently Asked Questions/
Frequently Posted Legends list for AFU.

Frequency:
----------
The Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) list for alt.folklore.urban
is posted approximately twice a month to the alt.folklore.urban,
news.answers, and alt.answers newsgroups with an expiration date
approximately one month from the date of posting.  If the FAQ is
not available on AFU at your site, check the other newsgroups
mentioned above.

Anonymous FTP:
--------------
The four part FAQ for alt.folklore.urban is also available 
via anonymous ftp at rtfm.mit.edu.  You can retrieve them by 
grabbing the following files:
  
     /pub/usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part1
     /pub/usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part2
     /pub/usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part3
     /pub/usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part4

E-MAIL:
------
If you do not have anonymous ftp access, rtfm.mit.edu can
send the FAQ to you via email.  Send an e-mail message to 
mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu, subject ignored, and the body
containing:
  
     send usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part1
     send usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part2
     send usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part3
     send usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part4


CATHOUSE:
---------
The FAQ and various sundry information are also available via 
anonymous ftp from cathouse.org (128.174.184.32) in the 
/pub/cathouse/urban.legends subdirectory and is also mirrored at 
balder.nta.no (128.39.1.8) in the /pub/alt.folklore.urban 
subdirectory.  Thanks to Jason Heimbaugh (jrh@dixie.aiss.uiuc.edu)
for his efforts in maintaining this archive.


WWW/Mosaic:
-----------
For the net.privileged, Andrew Condon (afcondon@dsg.cs.tcd.ie) has
generously made some initial cuts at making the AFU FAQ available 
via World Wide Web (WWW).  The URL is: 

   http://www.dsg.cs.tcd.ie:/dsg_people/afcondon/AFU/AFU-FAQ.html

The ideal web-access binary for accessing the WWW-version of the
FAQ is Mosaic.  You can use anonymous ftp to grab a copy of a 
Mosaic binary from NCSA.  The site name is ftp.ncsa.uiuc.edu.
There are versions for most platforms inlcuding Sparc, SGI, Dec, 
HP, and even PC and Mac.  

The WWW version of the FAQ is still under development and if you 
are particularly interested in a particular item, you would 
probably be well-advised to cross-check it with the versions
noted in rtfm.mit.edu or *.answers are noted above.


2. INTRODUCTION TO THE NEWSGROUP AFU

This is alt.folklore.urban -- the newsgroup where nonsense is revered
as an artform, and debunking has been taken to new heights. 

The group has broadened its god-given mandate from a place for 
discussing urban legends (ULs) to a place for confirming or disproving 
beliefs and facts of all kinds, including origin of vernacular ("The 
whole nine yards", "Sniping like a bald giraffe"), common scientific 
fallacies, obscure points of history, stories of pranks, the location 
of Foucalt's pendulums, Why "Space 1999" was better than "Star Trek: 
TOS," "What types of salmon are there?" and so on.  In other words, 
it's a great place to get a reality check on anything that "a friend" 
told you, or to compare notes about odd things.  Bear in mind though
that the FAQ tries, in its own confused way, to focus more on UL
relevant topics.

As a result, you will find items in the classic urban legend mold 
(e.g., food contamination legends), as well as old wives tales, and 
other oddball facts, trivia, and stories.

======================================================================
=====
An urban legend:
    * appears mysteriously and spreads spontaneously in varying 
      forms,
    * contains elements of humor or horror (the horror often 
      "punishes" someone who flouts society's conventions).
    * makes good storytelling.
    * does NOT have to be false, although most are.  ULs often 
      have a basis in fact, but it's their life after-the-fact 
      (particularly in reference to the second and third points) 
     that gives them particular interest.
======================================================================
=====

The Frequently Asked Questions List has been maintained by Terry
Chan since July 1991.  Its inception and spirit was due to Peter 
van der Linden in February 1991.

COPYRIGHT STUFF:
----------------
Copyright (c) 1994, Terry Chan and Peter van der Linden.
All Rights Reserved.  Permission for personal, educational or non-
profit use is granted provided this this copyright and notice are 
included in its entirety and remains unaltered.  All other uses 
must receive prior permission in writing from both Terry Chan (at 
TWChan@lbl.gov) and Peter van der Linden (at linden@eng.sun.com).  
Licensing terms on request.
--
Energy and Environment Division  | Mail:  twchan@lbl.gov 
Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory     | 
Berkeley, California  USA  94720 | What's it smell like?

  

@FROM   :TWChan@lbl.gov                                               
@SUBJECT:alt.folklore.urban  Frequently Asked Questions  [Part 2 of 4 
@PACKOUT:11-08-94                                                     
Message-ID: <42182@dog.ee.lbl.gov>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,news.answers,alt.answers
Organization: Department of Redundancy Department

Archive-name: folklore-faq/part2
Last-Modified: 94/11/1
Version: 2.50


1 November 1994

INTRODUCTION:

This is part two of the four part Frequently Asked Questions
list for alt.folklore.urban.  This section contains various
administrative and other oddly interesting information 
pertaining to AFU.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
----

TWO NOTES TO NEW READERS:

 - We encourage you to post any stories you suspect may be an UL. 
Funny
   or whatever.  Details matter!  Please try to give as much as 
possible.
   BUT, be advised that many of the stories in the FAQ have been 
hashed
   over.  If you wish to debate them, be prepared to substantiate your
   claim.

 - The weasely :-) symbol is frowned upon in this group.  Any 
questions, 
   see Phil Gustafson who will gladly rearrange your diodes for you 
and 
   charge you two-fifty for it.  Of course, there is no good reason 
why
   doing so should be a capital crime (virtual or otherwise), though 
you 
   do leave yourself open to scorn, ridicule, and bad breath if you do 
   use them.  BTW, it's no big deal.  Get a life.

A NOTE TO OLD AND WOULD BE OLD READERS:

 - If you must troll, bear in mind that trolling outside of AFU
   is pretty weak.

The purpose of summarizing these frequently-seen legends is to provide
a guide to veracity and their experience in this newsgroup.  Most ULs 
cannot be traced back to original true incidents, but some, 
particularly 
the more recent ones can be. There are ULs which may, coincidentally, 
have a true manifestation, but a true manifestation does not deprive a 
UL of its legendary status.  However, since many if not most ULs are 
false, where possible, I include a comment referring to a true 
incident, 
subject to sufficient evidence, of course.


A DIGRESSION ON URBAN LEGENDS AND "FALSEHOOD"

Occasionally, there is a post to the effect of: "That actually 
happened 
you st*p*d, f*ck*ng, b*st*rds, Jan Harold Brunvand is Polish, the FAQ 
list is wrong, the sun rises in the West and it's not an urban 
legend."  
As noted elsewhere in this list and by astute individuals on the net, 
an 
UL does not have to be false.  If we take the example of "The 
Unsolvable 
Math Problem" (see below), we find that mathematician George Dantzig 
is 
the probable individual involved.  So is this story no longer an UL?  
Jan Harold Brunvand addresses this issue thusly:

     "Despite finding its [The Unsolvable Math Problem] apparent 
      origin, I continue to accept anonymous versions as legendary.  
      Here's why."

     "An oral story is a story, whatever its origin.  As long as a
      story continues to circulate in different variations, partly
      by word of mouth, we may regard it as folklore.  But probably
      'The Unsolvable Math Problem' legend should no longer be
      discussed as strictly 'apocryphal,' since we now seem to have
      found its source, and the deviations from the original incident
      are easily recognized and are not excessive."

                         - JHB, _Curses!  Broiled Again!_, p. 282

Veracity is interesting but far from the only thing when it comes to 
the study of urban legends.  

MEANWHILE, BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM . . .

I have also begun to collect references to specific volumes of JHB's 
to
document various classic ULs.  This is a slow and on-going process.
Acronyms for Jan Harold Brunvand's books in the list below are:

     TVH  -  _The Vanishing Hitchhiker_
     TMP  -  _The Mexican Pet_
     TCD  -  _The Choking Doberman_
     CBA  -  _Curses!  Broiled Again_
     TBT  -  _The Baby Train_ 

Related newsgroups to consider when posting an article which may be 
  "folklore":
     - alt.folklore.computers [guess what this one is about?]
     - alt.folklore.science ["Does hot water freeze faster than cold?"  
Heh.]
     - alt.folklore.college [Lots of the same old stuff, but why not?]
     - alt.folklore.ghost-stories [Spooky!]
     - alt.folklore.suburban [Joel Furr moderated, low-volume group.]
     - alt.folklore.info [Terry Wood moderated, very low-volume 
group.] 
     - alt.folklore.military [What exactly is "Puff the Magic Dragon" 
about?]
     - alt.fan.cecil-adams [For those who want the dope, straight or 
not]
     - sci.skeptic [for those with lots of time on their hands]
     - alt.tasteless [frequently more appropriate than not.]
     - alt.usage.english [pretty self-explanatory, dontcha think?]
     - alt.flame [just a thought else hold that thought]
     - alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.d [the others are for *pictures* 
only.]
     - alt.religion.kibology [the mother of all newsgroups]
     - rec.arts.startrek.misc [Anything about "Lost in Space" will 
do.]

NOMINATIONS FOR THE OFFICIAL MOTTO OF A.F.U.
  [One free clue:  if youse post with one of the following in your 
article,
   youse takes youse chances in this newsgroup.]
  "It could have happened, so it must be true."
  "Sheesh!"
  "Sorry to inject some facts into this newsgroup..."
  "It COULD have happened so it MUST have happened"
  "Bula Vinaka"
  "I read it on USE[less]NET so it must be true."
  "You st*p*d f*ck*ng b*st*rds..."
  "The way I heard it..."
  "I read it in the paper..."
  "I think it's stupid. We collect all these business cards, and it 
turns
      out nobody wants them."
  "Mumpsimus"
  "Furrfu!"
  "Bzzzzt!"
  "No Facts but..."
  "And as for the voracity [sic] of the source, this is my GRANDMOTHER 
      you're talking about."
  "True story as far as anyone knows.  No particular reason why it 
should
      be doubted."
  "I can't vouch for the veracity of your story.  But there's enough 
stupidity
      out there that I'll believe it."
  "He might have.  That alone is enough to prove..."
  "Are you saying that some soaps are not detergents but that no 
detergents 
      are soaps?"  
  "Well, looking at my couch, I could see how this would happen"
  "Excuse me.  But can anyone tell me what's going on here?"
  "I'm not making this up. I've seen a wargame of the battle of 
Stalingrad
     which includes an optional counter for mine dogs, so it must be 
true.
  "I will not describe it so don't even bother asking me about it."
  "My girlfriend has seen people doing this. Sources don't come more
reliable."
  "If you doubt this crap, Ive [sic] got a copy I could quote."
  "I heard the story.  It wasn't cocaine, it was a cat."
  "Exaggeration makes a better story."
  "Yup.  I've heard that one too so it must be true."
  "I didn't keep any references as I didn't think it would be a 
subject on
AFU."
  "I do not post speculation or bullshit to this newsgroup."
  "Sounds like bullshit to me."
  "I must say, with all due respect, the tone of your reply is typical 
of
    much of the dialog that goes on on this network and newsgroup.  
Any
    apparent weakness or oversight, real or not, becomes the occasion 
for
    an attack on the basic intelligence of the person who reveals it -- 
in
    this case the lecturer whose talk some fifteen years ago I 
sketchily
    summarized."
   "I can't remember where I heard that, so it must be true."
   "Your intuition is excellent, but another viewpoint could be 
helpful."
   "...you're still wrong, even taking your pedantry at face value."
   "Well, this has nothing to do with San Francisco or pus, but..."
   "Yes a film of that does exist. Some kids I once knew in high 
school 
      once saw it." 
   "[f]rankly I couldn't give a fig what you all say, this 
happens[...]"
   "Home address and plane fare on request, punk." 
   "If it isn't true, it should be, and if we could afford it, it 
would be."
   "Why don't you just select your silly MOTTO and get on with it." 
   "i wasnt thinking...obviously this doesnt matter to my point..."
   "I believe it because I have already heard other versions of it..."
   "I'm extremely sceptical about this being an urban legend; after 
all, 
    the fellow who sent _me_ the letter is an attorney."
   "If you mess around with a really great screw you're in danger of 
     losing your ass?"


AFU MAN OF THE YEAR
   - B1FF (1990)
   - STella (1991)
   - Trelford Pinkerton (1992)
   - Phil Gustafson (1993)
   - Terry Chan (1994)
   - Lee Rudolph (1994)
   - Kim Scheinberg (1994)

SPECULATION ON CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK'S MIDDLE NAME
   - "Terry" 
   - "Tirebiter"
   - "Tennessee"
   - "Tyrone"
   - "Tin-Plated Dictator with Delusions of Godhood"
   - "Teriyaki"
   - "Thermocephalic"
   
OFFICIAL AFU MASCOT
  - My pet King snake, Elvis
  - Peter's pet dalmatian dog, Pixel
  - snopes' pet cat, Snopes
  - little gator's non-biological gator, harvee 
  - Cindy's pet troll, Steinar
  - Nigel's pet human, Joel Furr
  - Weasels!  Weasels!  Weasels!

HACK ETYMOLOGIES FOR THE WORD 'POSH'
  - Puke On Shoes Here
  - Port Out, Starboard Home
  - Passed Out, She Hurled
  - Post Office:  Shergold's Hospital
  - Pulmonary -- Oxygenated Supply to Heart
  - Port Out, Sherry Home
  - Prow Outward, Stern Homeward

OFFICIAL AFU PHOTOGRAPHERS
  - Dan Wright and Patrick S. Clark (ret.)
  - Joe "Not not him" DiMaggio

OFFICIAL AFU HATCHETMAN
  - Ray "Not Dick" Depew

OFFICIAL FOOD OF AFU
  - Chicken Mole'
  - Red Velvet Cake
  - Poinsettia salad
  - Kentucky Fried Chicken 
  - little gator's Deep Sh*t Cookies 

OFFICIAL BIG DIC OF AFU
  - The OED or Winston Churchill (tie)

NOT THE OFFICIAL SONG OF AFU
  - She Bop


-----------------------------------------------------------------------
----
The Frequently Asked Questions List has been maintained by Terry
Chan since July 1991.  Its inception and spirit was due to the
efforts of Peter van der Linden in February 1991.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
----

COPYRIGHT STUFF:
----------------
Copyright (c) 1994, Terry Chan and Peter van der Linden.
All Rights Reserved.  Permission for personal, educational or non-
profit use is granted provided this this copyright and notice are 
included in its entirety and remains unaltered.  All other uses must 
receive prior permission in writing from both Terry Chan (at 
TWChan@lbl.gov) and Peter van der Linden (at linden@eng.sun.com).  
Licensing terms on request.
--
Energy and Environment Division  | Mail:  twchan@lbl.gov 
Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory     | 
Berkeley, California  USA  94720 | What's it smell like?

                                                                                                       

@FROM   :TWChan@lbl.gov                                               
@SUBJECT:alt.folklore.urban  Frequently Asked Questions  [Part 3 of 4 
@PACKOUT:11-08-94                                                     
Message-ID: <42183@dog.ee.lbl.gov>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,news.answers,alt.answers
Organization: Department of Redundancy Department

Archive-name: folklore-faq/part3
Last-Modified: 94/11/1
Version: 2.50


1 November 1994

INTRODUCTION:

This is part three of the four part Frequently Asked Questions
list for alt.folklore.urban.  This section contains a list
of various urban legends and related topics for this newsgroup.

If the story you are considering posting to AFU falls under
one of those discussed below, reconsider the posting or at
least ask about it intelligently.  Chances are, if it's on
this list, it's been discussed to death.  If you still want 
to post it as is, youse takes youse chances.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
----

PART THREE:  Categories of Frequently Posted Legends:

 - The Misappliance of Science
 - The 'Plane Truth (What goes up...)
 - Does Not Compute
 - Twinkie Twitter
 - Mad Medicine
 - Wind Powered Fantasies
 - Stupid Academia Tricks
 - Stupid People Tricks
 - What's in a Word?
 - Reefer Madness
 - How Firm is Your Foundation?
 - Kill Your Television!
 - Astonishing Antipodean Antics
 - Lewd Food
 - Snuff Movies
 - Upstanding Legends of the Penis and Scrotum
 - Hide the Salami 
 - Disney Dementia (and other amusement park legends)
 - Question Authority!  
 - Legal Beagles
 - Wild Life in the Fast Lane
 - Legends About Natatory Capabilities of Large Anthropoid Primates
 - Astounding Avian Anomalies
 - Doggie-Style and Cattie-Wumpus
 - Other Animal Crackers
 - Arthropod Crackers

Key to Listed FAQs:
   T  = 100% scientific truth
   Tb = believed true, but not conclusively proven
   F  = 100% falsehood
   Ft = A legend, mostly untrue, but with a true occurrence or 
  known origin.
   Fb = believed false, but not conclusively proven
   U  = unanswered and may be unanswerable
   P  = Maybe it didn't happen, but it's scientifically possible
         (used extremely sparingly, where the opposite is expected,
         as it could apply to just about every legend)

There is a comment, "*", on certain lines in the FAQ.  This indicates
that there is further information on this point available via 
anonymous
ftp.  See the AFU anonymous ftp sites noted in Part I of the FAQ for
more information.
======================================================================
========

THE MISAPPLIANCE OF SCIENCE
F.*You can make as much ice faster by starting with warmer water.
T.*Boiled water freezes faster than ordinary water at same initial 
temp.
T.*Hot water evaporates while freezing, producing 75% of ice in 90% of 
time.
   See "Hot water freezes faster than cold water.  Why does it do 
so?",
   Jearl Walker in The Amateur Scientist, Scientific American, Vol. 
237, 
   No. 3, pp 246-257; September, 1977 and "The Freezing of Hot and 
Cold 
   Water", G.S. Kell in American Journal of Physics, Vol. 37, No. 5, 
pp 
   564-565; May, 1969.
F. A penny falling from height of Empire State building will embed in
pavement.
   [Yeah, yeah, it's mentioned in the _Life in Hell_ books]
T. There is no truth to the rumor that James "T." Kirk's middle name 
is Terry.
F.*Bath water drains the other way round in other hemisphere, due to 
Coriolis.
T. Coriolis force affects fluids if you take incredible pains to 
isolate it.
T. You can also consult the sci.physics FAQ [part 2].
Fb.Microwaving panties kills yeast infections (cold spots in oven...)
F. Coloring your CD's rim with (special) marker will enhance sound 
quality.
T.*CDs are the size they are because it could hold Beethoven's 9th 
symphony.
F.*People explode/boil/something in the vacuum of space. 
F. Eelskin wallet demagnetizes bank cards (nope, but magnetic clasp 
might).
F. Daylight sky appears dark enough to see stars from bottom of deep 
well.
T. Venus and perhaps a few other bright stars/planets can be seen in 
daylight.
F. Bubbles in bubble wrap contain a cheap, but toxic gas.
U. East German secret police "bug" factory now uses skills to make 
hearing
aids
F. Hot-drying acid-washed jeans "re-activates" the acid(Nope, but 
might
shrink)
F. Ontario Hydro mandated poor installation,so copper fails as often 
as Alum.
T. Fluorescent lamp will light up when held near high-voltage line.
T. You sure can raise bloody hell asking about physics/chemistry on 
AFU.
Tb.Fluorescent light will break down vitamins in clear milk 
containers.
F. Fluorescent lights leach vitamins from your body.
Tb.Leather saddles used to be treated with llama dung to avoid scaring 
horses
Tb.The spec. for leather saddles got copied for leather jackets...
T. 3M "post-it" notes were invented & marketed as an unofficial 
project
T.*Subliminal messages in advertising are ineffective, but outlawed 
anyway.
   ["Media Sources and Business Legends" in TCD]
T.*...Ted Frank posted cite of USA law.
U. Filamentous phage M13 obtained from lab's letter rejecting the 
transfer!
T. Long term storage of paper in a PVC envelope is harmful (fumes 
degrade it).
T. Some combinations of metal tooth fillings can receive radio 
signals.
F. Printer/copier toner is carcinogenic. [But be careful about 
breathing it.]
F.*The moon looks larger near the horizon than up in the sky due to
refraction.
T.*The above is due to an optical illusion.
T.*Indiana House Bill #246 of 1897 would've set pi=3.2. Killed in 
state
Senate.
Fb.Some state (e.g., KS, OK, etc.) once considered a bill setting pi = 
3
   (or some other arbitrary, non-transcendental number).
F. US and Russia won't destroy their cultures of smallpox for fear of 
bio-
war.
Fb.People only use 10% of their brain capacity (whatever that means).
F. If the entire population of China jumped up at the same time: a) 
the
Earth's
   orbit would be disturbed, b) the entire US would be swamped by a 
tidal
wave.
Fb.If all the Chinese screamed at the same time, people in the US 
could hear
it
U. This message is costing the net hundreds if not thousands of 
dollars.
T. There was a natural nuclear reaction in Africa long ago [NOT an 
explosion.]
F. Swimming right after eating will cause cramps and you'll drown.
F. Squeezing out the air from a partially consumed soda bottle will 
keep soda 
   from going flat.
F. There are workmen who died building Hoover Dam and were entombed in 
it.
F. There is a pillar in India made of metal found nowhere else in the 
world.
Tb.Tomatoes are not vegetables, they're berries.  [Thanks, Scott C.]
T.*Women workers in old watch factories got poisoning by licking 
brushes used 
   for applying radium compound to watch faces.  Thanks to Stan 
Schwarz.
T. Deckard was a replicant.  Damn!
F. Large telescope mirrors often become distorted due to glass flow.
F. You can see glass flow in the windows of old buildings.
T.*MRI used to be called "Nuclear MRI", but "N" was dropped due to 
nuke fear.
T. Nobody except Doug Spindler came up with any good stuff on the 
origins 
   of Daylight Saving Time.
U. "Trekkies" are controlling the minds of everyone on the net.
T. A newspaper once substituted "In the African-American" for "in the 
black."
T. ...Andrew Steinberg sent a copy of the 19 Jul 90 column in the 
_Fresno Bee_
   which contained the original error and the 21 July 90 column 
w/correction.
T. ...pvdl nailed this sucker down as a prank which was pulled by a
journalist.
F.*Welding while wearing contacts can cause them to stick to your 
eyeballs.
   [TCD]
F. NASA sends Swiss watchmakers very thin threads of gold; they send 
back 
   drilled w/holes. [Similar story w/Japan and US.]
T. Marvin Minsky once followed up to a post by Peter van der Linden.
F. Standing a hard-boiled egg on end has something to do with an 
equinox.
F. There was a "Philadelphia Experiment" that tried to make stuff 
invisible.
T. Give Bill Nelson an order of magnitude or two.
T. You'll probably die if your skin is completely coated w/paint, but 
not 
   of asphyxiation.
T. Helge Moulding is just another weird guy that posts to AFU.
F. Scientists once concluded that bumblebees couldn't fly.
T. There are many stories about musicians and bands, especially after
   they die or are dead.  Most aren't very interesting or novel.
T. There are male (and female) models in the Victoria's Secret 
catalogue.

THE 'PLANE TRUTH (WHAT GOES UP...)
T. 800ft diameter asteroid passed within 500K miles of hitting earth 
in 1989.
T. Confused pilots occasionally land on tiny strip short of correct 
airport.
T. F51D plane can flip due to engine torque.(A. Frisbie posted pilot's
manual!)
Tb.US Govt fixed plane transponders always report positions(catch drug
imports)
T. Airforce/manufacturers tests planes by firing chickens from special 
cannon.
Tb Cessna planes aren't sold in the US anymore due to threat of 
liability
suits
T. Beechcraft and Mooney still make & sell planes in the US however...
T. Pilot can discreetly signal a hijack by setting the transponder to 
"7500"
Tb.Leave flaps down when off the active as a request for armed 
intervention!!
F. The Great Wall of China can be seen with the naked eye from the 
moon.
T. Many manmade structures can be seen with the naked eye from Earth 
orbit.
F. Shuttle crew did secret experiment on how to make love in zero 
gravity.
Tb.Jet lag is exacerbated by alcohol consumption.
T. Parachute mishap brought down a Cessna (gently) on a novice's 
parachute.
F. Airlines use a gas to keep passengers mildly sedated and less 
troublesome.
U. Similar story of lowering cabin pressure below usual.
Fb.Both pilots on airliner end up locked out of cockpit in lavatory 
mixup.
   ["Death and Danger in the Air" in CBA]
U. In 90% of plane crashes, the words "Oh sh*t!" appear on the flight
recorder.
Fb.Another passenger arrives for full plane; airline employee Gay must 
give up
   his seat.  Someone else answers yes to "Are you Gay?"; Gay says 
"*I'm*
Gay";
   more passengers chime in that they're gay and "They can't kick us 
all off."
F. Bank programmer makes big bux by skimming off or rounding 
calculations in
   a payroll or interest compounding program.  [AKA "Salami" method.]
T. Institutions are very reluctant to report frauds so may be 
difficult to ID.
T. There're lots of stories about how the Challenger astronauts died.
T. Check the sci.space FAQ.

DOES NOT COMPUTE
T. Computers have been stolen.
T. Apple use a Cray to design hardware systems; Cray use an Apple...
T. Prodigy grabs large sectors of the disk, containing data from 
deleted
files.
F. Prodigy slyly reads your disk & nefariously uploads your top 
secrets to
IBM.
F. Stories about Seymour Cray's strange hobbies (annual boat burning 
etc).
F.*The FCC is proposing a modem tax (Nope, the proposal died in 1987).
T. Bill Gates has $750K Porsche 959 he can't use;no type compliance,no
license!
U. New computer system "lost" a Montgomery Ward Calif warehouse for 3 
years...
T. "q=q++;" is an undefined statement under ANSI C(same object 
modified
twice).
T. Calling "#" a pound sign as in common US parlance really riles some 
folks
up
T. "#" is frequently referred to as a "hash" mark outside the US.
F. Russian/Chinese mechanical translator translates "out of sight, out 
of
mind"
   into "blind and insane".  Also "Spirit is willing, but the flesh is 
weak" 
   as "the drink is good but the meat is rotten."
U. IBM ordered a whole bunch of "THIMK" games; but printer changed to 
"THINK".
   ...a.B. Mayers claims to have dug up a receipt for same. Getting 
close.
T. In 1947 a moth was found in a relay of the Harvard Mark II machine, 
and
   taped into the logbook as the "first actual case of bug being 
found".
T. The log book used to be in building 1200 "K-lab" of the Naval 
Surface 
   Warfare Center, Dahlgren Division.  Now at the Smithsonian MoAH.
F. Grace Hopper coined the term "bug" as a result of this event.
T. Grace Hopper was a programmer for the Mark II and often told the 
moth
story.
T. "Bug" was used to mean a design defect as far back as Edison's 
time.
T. If you feel a need to finger a coke machine,try finger 
coke@g.gp.cs.cmu.edu
T. See the alt.internet.services FAQ for more neat-and-keen stuff.


TWINKIE TWITTER
T. "animal or vegetable shortening" on ingredients list == LARD
F. Hostess snacks (Twinkies, Cupcakes, etc.) aren't baked!  They 
set,like
jello
Fb.Twinkies eat mold... If mold grows on a twinkie, the twinkie 
digests it...
T. There really were chocolate "iced" Twinkies.
F. Singer John Denver served as a sniper in Vietnam (poss. his dad 
was).
T. Joel Furr likes to increase S/N by reposting boring old ULs.


MAD MEDICINE
T. London doctor struck off for inveigling Turkish peasants to donate 
a
kidney.
F.*Dr. C. Drew, a plasma researcher; bleeds to death when hospital 
turns him
   (a black man) away. [Similar story with death of Blues great Bessie 
Smith.]
U. Hypnosis is a fake!  Net says "Yes, no, zzzz". [But does remove 
warts.]
F. Flowers are bad in hospital rooms because they suck oxygen out of 
air.
T. (Wo)man takes huge quantity of baking soda as an antacid and ends 
up with
   CO2 rupturing stomach.
U. Woman had "tree in the bedina" -- potato used as pessary, 
sprouted...
U. Woman had "Smiling Mighty Jesus" -- spinal meningitis.
U. Woman had "sick as hell anemia" -- sickle cell anemia
U. Woman named child "Nosmo King" after sign on delivery room door.
F. There is a special ward for "Newky Brown" addicts in Newcastle 
General
F.*Person's hair turns entirely white "overnight" from stress.
T. Some people sneeze when exposed to bright light ("photic sneeze 
effect").
Tb.You can catch diseases (crabs, lice, herpes, VD, etc) from public 
toilets.
Tb.Patient died when intravenously given Kaopectate.
T. Bo Bradham lives in a "small world" hypothesis.
U. FDA approval causes cancer.
T. Yes, we've heard of Coca-cola as a douche, but if you're that 
desperate,
   you're in big trouble.
Tb.Drinking large quantities of deionized/distilled water over a long 
period
   of time can screw you up due to ion imbalances.
F. Hair/nails continue to grow after death.
T. They appear to as the corpse shrinks.
F. Hair grows back thicker or faster if you shave it.
F. Woman sees doc with irritated eye. Sez a male stripper rubbed his 
pouch in 
   her eye.  Doc checks and removes a louse from it.
F. "Ear lobe" repair is booming in NYC because thieves rip earrings 
off women.
F. Thugs hide under cars in malls and cut ankles of women returning to 
cars.
   [Above two in TBT.]
Tb.Rat(s) eat face of child while child is near adult in poor side of 
town.
F. An autopsy reveals big hairballs in lungs of a man who breathed in 
bits
   of hair while he worked, and thus suffocated him. 
T. RT's wife's small hair ball nearly killed her.  And she's got a big 
scar.
F. Girl dies of big hairball in stomach from chewing on ends of her 
braids.
   [Above two in "The Hair Ball" in TMP.]
T. Camilla Cracchiolo is doing some great stuff on the toxic body 
fumes story.
F. Mime has heart attack during act. People think it's part of act; he 
dies.
Tb.Reported to have happened to Tommy Cooper.
T. Brian Bringardner emailed a UPI report about this happening to Dick 
Shawn.
F. B.F. Skinner's daughter died/committed suicide/sued because of she 
was
   reared in a Skinner box/special crib.
Fb.Left-handed people have shorter life spans than righties.
Fb.Women/people shouldn't sit on cold cement or metal 'cause it might 
hurt
   their plumbing or cause piles.
F. You can catch a cold by being chilled.
U. Jamie Lee Curtis is a hermaphrodite.
T. Like with any celebrity, there are lots of rumors about her.
T. There's all sorts of rumors about the AIDS virus being developed by
   various institutions.
T. The stories have generally been dull and boring.
T. David Lesher, I'm almost there, don't lose your head over this...


WIND-POWERED FANTASIES
T. Fin-de-siecle Frenchman,Petomane,got rich farting as music hall
act.Fartist.
U. Blowback (blowforward?) from ignited fart, singed frat-boy's 
intestines.
U. Vet cut vent-hole in cow's flank, lit escaping gases, burned down 
barn...
Tb.A patient's intestine explodes from cauterization during surgery 
due to
gas.
T. A patient's intestine exploded during a colotomy.

STUPID ACADEMIA TRICKS
NOTE: Many university-based ULs are passed continually. Before 
posting, check 
      out the references below and in Appendix B of JHB's textbook 
which has a

      survey of academe ULs by Barre Toelken.  
Most college ULs are now covered in Ted Frank's alt.folklore.college 
FAQ, which used this FAQ as a base.  If you don't see what you like
here, look there.
T. Prof lists famous unsolved problems;student thought it was homework-
solved!
   (Student was George Dantzig.)  ["The Unsolvable Math Problem" in 
CBA.]
Fb.Student cheats on exam,asks "do you know who I am?",jams paper in 
exam
pile!
   ["Bluebook Legends" in TMP]
Fb.Professor jostled; misses watch;grabs back from jostler; later 
finds at
home
   [Variation of "The Jogger's Billfold" in TCD]
F. College roommate commits suicide, gets you an automatic "A" for 
courses.
   ["The Suicide Rule" in CBA.]
T. Student gets tuition $ by asking for $0.01 from each person via 
newspaper.
T. Students find rolled-up carpet; take and unroll in dorm room to 
find body.
Fb.Student kills self during exam by putting 2 pencils in nose and 
hitting
desk
T. People's lawn gnomes/elves stolen; owners were sent letter/pics 
from exotic
   locations with the ornament.  ["Roaming Gnomes" in CBA]
T. Famous UL researcher misspells the subtitle of a Star Trek film in 
a book.
F. Two co-eds alone in dorm; one goes to study; other in room; roomie 
hears
   heavy dragging sounds; blocks door; hears scratches; waits til 
morning;
   opens door to find other co-ed with ax in head who was scratching 
for help.
   ["The Roommate's Death" in TVH and TMP]
Fb.Students buy a barber pole and drive the town. Stopped continually 
by
police
F. Girl is alone at home/dorm with dog; sleeps; hears noise and a 
dripping
   sound; is frightened but reaches to dog and feels a lick; goes back 
to
   sleep. In morning, finds dog hanged in shower and note under bed 
which
   says "humans can lick too." ["The Licked Hand" in TCD]
Fb.Prof. gives "announced" quiz to surprised class after putting ad in 
paper.
Fb.Prof. allows students to "bring in what they can carry for exam"; 
student
   carrys in a grad student" (variation on allowing use of "Feynman").
Fb.Prof. nails exam thief by cutting bottom 0.5" of exam to find 
longer
answer.
Fb.Philosophy prof.'s 1 word exam: "Why?" "A" to student who replies 
"Why
not?"
   [Many, many variations].
Fb.Low grading prof. grades same exam in successive semesters; gives 
higher 
   grade each time. 4th time around (or so), writes: "Like it more 
each time".
   [Version with drawing of a whale.]
Fb.Prof. lectures class on sugar content of ejaculate. Girl then asks 
"Why
   does it taste so salty then?"  Runs out of class amidst laughter.
Fb.Science class students take swab from inside of cheek and examine 
under
   microscope. One group sees odd organisms and calls prof. who looks 
and
   declares that it's sperm.
Fb.Student submits 20 yr old paper for class; prof. gives "A"; says he 
always
   liked it but he only got a "B" when he wrote it.  [The above 6 are 
in 
   "College Con Artists and How They Operate" in CBA]
T. Prof. Donald "Art of Computer Programming" Knuth's 1st publication 
was in 
   MAD mag. (MAD #33 "The Potrzebie system of weights and measures")
F. Frat holds blood drive. Some grossly high % of frat donors are HIV
positive.
T. There seems to be quite a few university buildings named after 
Kresge.
Fb.Prof. demos test for diabetes by dipping finger in several flasks 
of urine 
   and then licking it. Then asks students to do same.  They do, after 
which 
   he says he dipped with one finger and licked with the other.
Fb.alt.folklore.college is dead.
Fb.Co-ed responds to "quizzy" announcement with fear of "testies", 
blushes.
F. Albert Einstein did poorly in school.
T. If you want to post about some university's swimming tests, go to 
AFC.

STUPID PEOPLE TRICKS
T.*Craig Shergold, UK cancer kid,sought get-well cards,overwhelmed 
with 33
mil.
T.*Craig Shergold, UK health plan wouldn't operate;Kluge paid;tumor 
was



T.*Lousy quality CS GIF courtesy of Phil Kernick available via 
anonymous ftp.
T. Craig Shergold's 13th birthday was June 24, 1992.From now June 24 
is
AFUday.
T. His name has been misspelled several times in various pleas.
T. But he sure as heck doesn't want or need any more cards now.
T.*See _The Guinness Book of Records 1992_, p. 207.4 for his listing.
T.*See 19 July 1990 _NY Times_ (p. 24), _People_ magazine 10 June 
1991, p. 63.
T. He was interviewed on TV (23 Sep 94) on "Eye to Eye with Connie 
Chung."
T.*Check the afu anonymous ftp site for sources and references.
T.*Cards that are sent to the hospital no longer go to him.
T. A variation of the above now includes a call for business cards.
   [Classic American UL in this genre is "Postcards for Little Buddy" 
in CBA]
T. There was a version involving bar codes which was a hoax.
Tb.Craig Shergold lives in an "unsalubrious" section of town, but
   ...John Slater doesn't think Craig live in an "unsalubrious" area 
anymore.
Tb.Craig voted on the folklore rmgroup from 
Craig_shergold@vms.cis.pitt.edu. 
U. Errol Flynn was invited to "black tie" party; went nude,except for 
black
tie
U. Ed Zotti is Cecil Adams, or Marilyn vos Savant, or Isaac Asimov, 
or....
T. Some, one, or all of the above reads AFU.
T. Some beggars with "will work for food" signs are just extra 
sympathy scams.
T.*People have been injured by rocking a vending machine that falls on 
them.
Fb.Man's house demolished after friend placed ad in paper for a joke.
Fb.US GI captures Iraqi soldier - they knew each other from Chicago.
F. Special chemical for swim pools, turns bright color on contact with 
urine.
F. "3 Men & a Baby" has a scene with a real ghost in it.
   ["Psychic Videotapes" in TBT.]
F. In the "Wizard of Oz" film you can see a body of someone who hung 
himself.
Fb.Wife sprays toilet with flammable bug spray, husband shits, smokes,
explodes
   Wife sprays toilet with flammable hair spray, you know the rest, 
etc.
   ["Hilarious Accidents" in TMP.  Variations in TVH.]
F.*Aluminum ring pull tabs are collected & exchanged for dialysis 
machine
time.
   ["Redemption Rumors" in TMP]
T. ...Some places or people (e.g., The Ronald McDonald House in 
Rochester, MN)
   do collect tabs for their scrap value and raise $$ for various 
causes.
T. The MN connection has been noted by many people.  One of the better 
and
   more recent articles was posted by Sarah Skovronsky.
T. There are two Canadians who collect them for wheelchairs. Ask Fred 
Ennis.
F. Chanting "Mary Worth" before a mirror summons dead spirit at 
slumber
parties
   ...Related to famous La Llorona legend? ["I Believe in Mary Worth" 
in TMP] 

Fb.Male athlete cheats drug test with wife's pee; test shows he's 
pregnant.
T. Infirm, elderly, obese alcoholics have set themselves on fire 
occasionally.
F. People occasionally spontaneously combust and burn to death.  
Whoompfh!
F. Cabbage Patch dolls are possessed by the devil.
F. Kid sends broken Cabbage Patch dolls sent back. Death certificate 
sent
back.
   ["The Cabbage Patch Tragedy" in TMP]
Ft.Couple stays in odoriferous hotel room;informed next day of body in
mattress
T. Case reported in Miami, FL in Mar 1994: Posts from Bo Bradham & Len
Berlind.
F. Someone is crushed to death trying to shrink blue jeans by wearing 
in tub.
   ["Product Defect and Liability Legends" in TCD]
F.*Tourists' room is burgled, later finds snaps of "toothbrush up 
thief's
ass".
   Often told of tropical areas (e.g., Hawaii, various countries in 
the
   Carribbean, but there's even one for Colorado).["Indecent Exposure" 
in TBT]
F. Two guys see kid fishing; kid says fish aren't biting but worms 
are; on way

   back; they discover kid slumped over; worms were baby water 
moccasins!
   ["The Can of Snakes" in TMP]
Fb.Child's foot/leg is amputated after pumping Reeboks shoes too 
tight.
T. For some reason, some folks kill snakes by grabbing tail and 
"snapping"
them
T. "Chicken sexing" is big business. Started by Asian family.
T."little gator" S. Mudgett is mentioned in one of Cecil's books.
F. Folks find casks of wine in cellar of old house. Tap and drank from 
several
   of them.  Later, preserved body of original house owner found in 
cask.
   [Body in the cask motif may find some basis in old story of Admiral 
Nelson
   of Battle of Trafalgar.  His body was shipped back in wine/rum 
cask.  Upon
   arrival in UK, cask was low/empty.  "The body in the cask" in TCD.]
Tb.Nautical saying: "Tapping the Admiral" is based on the above.
F. Boyfriend tells girlfriend they're through and she should leave 
when he
   leaves on a long trip. He returns to find phone off the hook 
connected to 
   the "time" recording in Japan/some far away place.
   ["The Lover's Telephone Revenge" in CBA]
F. Helicopter fights forest fires by scooping water from lake. Charred 
body
   of scuba diver found in ashes.  ["Death and Danger in the Air" in 
CBA]
F. Fat person on ship/airline toilet has intestines sucked out due to 
vacuum.
T. A similar accident happened to a little girl who sat on a wading 
pool 
   drain in North Carolina happened on 26 June 1993 [she didn't die].
Tb.Some guy in a foreign country teaches the locals that a certain 
obscene
   handsign (to him) was actually a welcoming gesture. Locals all pose 
for
   pictures while making the gesture.
F. Woman on bus raises a man's hand and asks "Who does it belong to?  
It was
   on my butt." Several red-faced men get off at next stop.
T. Jan Harold Brunvand's son, Erik, teaches at UU and even read a.f.u. 
Sheesh!
T.*There's a gif of Jan Harold Brunvand available via anonymous ftp.
F. Halloween sadists randomly give poisoned candy to children.
T. A Texas child was poisoned by his father on Halloween in 1974.
   [Above two are in "Halloween Sadists" in CBA]
F. Woman frequents tanning salons; develops funny smell; innards 
cooked!
   ["Curses! Broiled Again" in _CBA_]
T. A guy goes a-shooting at Saguaro cacti; hits one. It falls and 
kills him!
   ["The Plant's Revenge" in _CBA_]
F. Someone couldn't call for help because they couldn't dial the "11" 
in
"911".
   ["Dial 911 for Help" in TCD] 
T. Lots of people comment on the FAQ list without actually reading it.
Tb.People were once frequently mistaken for dead and were buried 
alive.
Tb.Edison's last breath is kept in a jar in Michigan. (Well, sort of).
Tb.Elvis lives near Palo Alto, works for Sun, and speaks w/an English 
accent.
Fb.Co-ed loses tampon inside prior to blind date; worried; sees school 
intern;
   is acutely embarrassed.  Her date turns out to be the intern! 
Fb.Young man buys condom from pharmacist; he's embarrassed so boasts 
of date. 
   He picks her up, pharmacist/dad answers the door! ["The Blind Date" 
in TMP]
F. Bride at big wedding thanks each person, then thanks groom for 
sleeping 
   w/maid-of-honor.  Then throws bouquet, etc.  ["The Bothered Bride" 
in TMP] 
F. Kid in Michael Jackson's commercial breaks neck and dies from:
breakdancing,
   OD, hit by motorcycle. Kid is Alfonse Ribera. Rumored of many TV 
kids. 
   [See "Michael Jackson's Dancing Partner" inTMP]
F. First 7 numbers on bar code of "Thriller" album is Michael 
Jackson's phone.
   ["Michael Jackson's Telephone Number" in TMP]
F.*Phil Collins' song "In the Air Tonight" is about a death witnessed 
by Phil.
T. ...Sheesh!  This was even debunked in _Parade_ magazine.
T. Crotch seam rivet in original Levi's dropped due to pain from 
standing near

   fires.
F. Several suburban white women visit big city. They nervously enter 
elevator 
   which has a black man and a dog.He says "Sit Lady!" They promptly 
sit on
the
   floor but he was talking to the dog! 
T. ...UL ends w/free dinner, roses, or tickets to concert for ignorant 
women.
T. ...Guys mentioned include Reggie Jackson, Wilt Chamberlain, Lionel 
Ritchie,

   ...Eddie Murphy, O.J. Simpson, Joe Greene and Magic Johnson.
T. ...There is an amusing variant about the English parliament (look 
it up). 
T. ...Older version:woman stuck in an elevator where two black men 
piss on
her.
   [Above five are in "The Elevator Incident" in CBA.]
Fb.Some famous artist (Picasso/DaVinci/etc.] wants a new piece of 
furniture
   or furniture to be moved. Draws sketch for workman; who says no 
charge
   for the artist if he can keep the sketch.
F. Couple hires hippie-type babysitter. Later, mother calls and sitter 
says 
   everything is fine; she's stuffed the turkey and put it in the 
oven. 
   Mom worries since they don't have an turkey; parents rush home and 
find 
   that stoned sitter has (or is about to) put baby in the (microwave) 
oven.  
   ["The Hippie-Babysitter" in TVH.]
F. "Clever" babysitter stops baby crying by holding its head in oven.
   ["The Clever Babysitter" in TMP]
U. A plain-Jane coed invited to special night out by a BMOC. As she 
gets
ready,
   has bad gas from lunch. Date arrives;so plans to fart in car before 
he gets
   in. She farts and quickly rolls down window. Date gets in, 
says,"I'd like 
   you to meet Tom and Mary in the backseat." ["The Fart in the Dark" 
in TVH.]
Fb.Family visits wilderness park. They see bears and want to get "cute 
pics"
   of bear w/child so they smear honey on his cheek. Bear eats child's 
face.
F. Bride's father at wedding goes to pay band, but wallet is missing 
and has 
   to take up collection from guests. Later viewing of wedding video 
shows
   groom's father lifting bride's father's wallet! ["Sex Scandals" in 
TCD]
Tb.Some guys who make $ recycling aluminum strip a house with new 
siding.
Tb.People (mostly guys) have been electrocuted pissing on a subway's 
3rd rail.

T. Common UL mills include Dear Abby, Ann Landers, and Paul Harvey.
F. Woman lighting fire opens door w/hot poker;robber at door sees and 
grabs
it!
   (Var. where woman is holding a knife). ["The Robber Who was Hurt" 
in TCD]
U. People who feel the need to argue that 1 Jan 2000 is or is not the 
start
   of the 21st century need to get a life.
F. Clocks are commonly displayed at 8:18/8:20/10:10 because that's 
when JFK
   or Abraham Lincoln was shot.
T. The song "Happy Birthday" is copyrighted.
F. ...Paul McCartney owns the rights. 
T. "Dave Rhodes" letter asking for money is bogus.  If you post it to
   AFU, you almost deserve to be mailbombed.  Of course, *I* wouldn't
   condone it but then, you're not me.
Fb.Some guy who works at a factory takes home a part a day until some 
time
   later he has a Cadillac/tank/truck.
Tb.Putting a sleeping person's hand in water will cause him/her to pee 
for
   some people but not for others.
F. Some famous store is paying money for long fingernails to make 
false
   fingernails.


WHAT'S IN A WORD?
   [Bear in mind that AFU is not a dictionary server.  Try checking 
out 
   the OED and the _Dictionary of American Regional English_ for 
   etymological history; _The Penguin Dictionary of Historical Slang_, 
   by Eric Partridge (abridged by Jacqueline Simpson). Penguin books.  
   For you computer jocks, there's always alt.usage.english.]  
F.*The etymology of the 4-letter word "f*ck" is an acronym of old. 
[e.g.
   "Fornication Under Consent of the King.]
T. Lord knows, there're lots of variations of initials/names for 
"Jesus
Christ"
T. ...like Haploid/hermaphrodite/Harold/etc.  If you must, post it to
rec.humor.
U.*'HAL' in the film "2001: A Space Odyssey" was derived from letters 
for
"IBM"
T. ...Arthur C. Clarke has maintained that it was not.
Tb.The expression "86" (to put the kibosh on), originated in 1920s 
diner
slang.
T. A.J.Balfour appt'd Secretary Ireland by Uncle Bob.Nepotism? Bob's 
your
uncle
T. JF Kennedy said "Ich bin ein Berliner." Could be either "I am a 
native of
   Berlin" or "I am a jelly doughnut." Berliners knew what he was 
talking
about
T. Hebrew was considered as official language of the US. [Guess what
happened?]
F.*German was once within one or two votes of becoming the official US
language
T. Fijian on the AT&T ad says ""Bula vinaka, beachside!" ("hello, 
thanks").
T. Many languages don't pronounce foreign words/phrases as they really 
are.
Fb.US Civil War Gen. Hooker is the source for a common term for 
streetwalkers.
Tb....Though he may have helped popularize it.
F.*Thomas Crapper invented the flush toilet.
T.*Thomas Crapper did exist and made improvements to modern flushing
mechanisms
T. Martin Gardner said Crapper was bogus, but retracted it in one of 
his
books.
F.*The word 'crap' is derived from Thomas Crapper.
F. Otto Titzling invented the brassiere.
Tb.Maddie Boudreaux sure has a funny name for being Scottish.
F.*The words to "Louie, Louie" are dirty.[Thanks to Maiko Covington 
for
lyrics]
F. Eskimos have some megaboss number of words for snow.
F.*"Posh" is from "Port Out, Starboard Home" from Colonial English 
days.
T.*"Hamburgers" and "Frankfurters" are named after cities in Germany.
T.*"In like Flynn" is from Errol Flynn's acquittal on statutory rape 
charges.
T.*"Okay" or "OK" is originally from a misspelling fad: "Oll Korrect" 
(all
   correct); popularized by "Old Kinderhook" Van Buren in election 
campaign.
T. The du Pont Co. has claimed (1940) that "nylon" was an arbitrary 
coinage,
   but also (1978) that it was a modification of "no run" spelled 
backwards.
F. Jack Kerouac wrote that "Pig" stands for "Protector of Immutable
Government"
T. "Futhark" is an acronym.
F. The song "Puff the Magic Dragon" is about smoking pot or Vietnam 
war
weapon.
T. Winston Churchill once said something memorable.
T. There is no good etymology for the phrase "The whole nine yards."
T. Suggestions have included:  Volume in a concrete mixer, coal truck, 
or
   a wealthy person's grave; amount of cloth in a man's custom-made 
(i.e., 
   "bespoke") suit, sports games, funeral shroud, kilt, in a bolt of 
cloth,
   square area in a ship's sails, and volume in a soldier's pack.
T.*Studies indicate that the majority of US currency has traces of 
cocaine.
F.*The childhood rhyme "Ring Around the Rosie" has ties to the Black 
Plague.
Tb.The Chinese characters for "Coca-cola" could sound like those for 
"bite the
   wax tadpole."
F. The old Chevy Nova was a failure in Spanish speaking countries 
because it
   translates to "No go."
Tb.Pepsi had a similar episode where "Come Alive with Pepsi!" is 
rendered as
   "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the dead!"
T. Lots of people think threads like the etymology of company names 
such
   as "Exxon" are interesting and/or have some relevance.
U. "Kilroy" is a misspelling of "Kibo."
   

HOW FIRM IS YOUR FOUNDATION?  
T. David Johnston read AFU for *9* months before posting.  BFD.
F. Building is built backwards. Public criticizes; Architect commits 
suicide.
Tb.There have been buildings built backwards. 
F. Various university libraries sink; books heavier than architect 
thought!
F. Same as above, but pool not library, weight of water, not books.
Ft.Lots of bldgs (malls, etc.) are sinking into the ground as we post!
   [See "Back to the Drawing Board--Some Architectural Legends" in 
CBA]
T. Some universities, cities are riddled with semi-secret utility 
tunnels.
T. Clouds and other weather can transpire in the upper parts of high
structures
Fb.RC Church building plans reviewed by Pope/Vatican; response was "we 
are not
   angels"; plans had no loos!
Fb.Bldg collapses due to gas explosion from buried dead elephant under 
it.
T. Soldiers break step when marching over bridges (trivially 
observed).
U. Bridge falls down if soldiers don't break step when marching over.
Fb.Bridge falls down due to resonance if soldiers don't break step 
marching 
   over.  Broughton suspension bridge, England, 14 April 1831, fell 
under 
   soldiers march, but prob just overloaded, not resonating. Mark 
Brader 
   posted Times story!
F. Otherwise sound bridge falls down if soldiers don't break step 
marching 
   over.  (There have been no documented instances of this)
F. Arizona resorts are prewired for slot machines should gambling be 
okay'd.
F. Young woman meets beau's family for 1st time. During dinner, she 
has to
   take a leak and asks where the bathroom is. She goes in, but finds 
it's
   a bathroom w/no toilet! She looks around, can't find it. Being 
desperate
   and embarassed, she stands on sink to do it. Family hears loud 
crash and
   run to find that she's unconscious/bleeding/but okay. Sink 
collapsed!
T. Lotsa university buildings constructed in the 1960s look like 
prisons.
U. Many manhole covers are round because the holes are.

KILL YOUR TELEVISION!
F. "Newlywed Game" husband televised response that the strangest place 
they 
   made love was "That'd be the butt, Bob."
T. Brian Gordon posted Bob Eubanks interview where Bob offers $10K for 
proof.
T. Dave Filippi posted similar account heard on Boston area radio 
(WBCN).
T. Many people claim to have seen it. Bill McCauley claims to have a 
tape.
T. Robert Huss claims to have seen it but says the common quote is 
"wrong."
T. Chris Johns claims to have seen Chuck Barris say it was true on 
CNBC.
F.*The UK cartoon series "Cpt. Pugwash" had character names w/double
entendres.
T. _The Guardian_ wrote this up in September 1991.  They were 
successfuly 
   sued and issued an apology/retraction in November 1991.
T. Ian Palmer posted a .wav file he says is from an episode called 
"Fair 
   Exchange" supposedly available on a BBC Video called "Captain 
Pugwash, 
   Seafairing Tales" where the Cpt. is supposed to have said "I 
certainly
   did Master Bate."  Interestingly, this differs from the traditional 
UL
   where the name is often referred to as "Master Bates."
T. Many people claim to have seen and heard these too.  What a 
coincidence!
T. ...Gif of the Captain available at cathouse.org.
T. Woman has epileptic seizures upon hearing Mary Hart's [ET anchor] 
voice.
F. "Gilligan's Island" was never a real TV show.
Tb.Parents get a video for children. Find it was recorded over old 
porn tape!
T. CA assembly considering a law to ban the splicing of porn onto 
rented
tapes.
F. Johnny Carson said he'd pet Zsa Zsa's pussy if she'd move her cat.
F. JC said to Jack Nicklaus' wife that her kissing his balls before a 
golf
game
   must "make his putter flutter." (Sometimes about Arnold Palmer.)
F. JC gave out his AT&T card number for free calls since he won big
settlement.
   [Or Steve McQueen/Paul Newman/Sammy Davis,Jr/Robert Redford/Burt 
Reynolds.]
F. David Letterman tells audience to say "Hi" to Paul Shaffer 'cause 
his
   contract says his butt can't be shown on TV.
   [Above four from "Talk Show Tales - 'Dave's Behind' in CBA]
T. Charles Lasner still lives in the '60s and talks turkey.
F.*Kid tells Bozo the Clown to "shove it"/etc. after kid drops egg in 
game.
F.*Bozo interviews kids on show.  One kid says "Cram it, clown!"  Is 
removed.
F.*Some kid's talk show host says "That ought to shut the little 
bastards up!"
   on live TV/radio.  [Above three from 'Bozo the Clown's Blooper' in 
TMP]
T. Yes, yes, I've heard of Uncle Don and Kermit Schaeffer.
F.*Soupy Sales was canned for telling kids to send him pieces of paper 
with
   pictures of dead presidents from their parents' dresser drawers on 
his
show.
T.*He was suspended for a week.
F. Jan or Cindy Brady actress was a porn star. See alt.sex.movies FAQ. 
F. Some muppet on Sesame Street is going to be snuffed.
F. Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie are "gay."
Tb.Barbara Hamel had a brief fling with fame.


REEFER MADNESS
[The alt.drugs FAQ list has lots of interesting info.]
F.*"Blue star" or cartoon character (esp. Mickey Mouse) tattoos laced 
with LSD
   is sold at schools <Important!> to hook kids on acid.
T.*This UL is frequently spread via poorly typed/copied fliers.
T.*LSD has been sold on blotter paper with cartoon characters.
   ["Blue Star Acid" in CBA and "Mickey Mouse Acid" in TCD.  See also 
Dave
   Gross's definitive periodic posting.]
Fb.Person high on drugs stares at sun -- gets partial blindness.
T. Check in Medline in Dec 1992 and Oct 94 shows no such case 
reported.
F. Aspirin and Coca-Cola taken together get you high. (Nope.May cause
insomnia)
T. Phil Kernick thinks it does work on him, but that's Oz for you.
U. More than 4 hits of acid in one month renders you legally insane.


F. Tobacco cos. prepared to market/mfg joints if pot was legalized in
'60s/'70s
T. You can beat any drug test (in a Zen way) by not taking the test.
U. Guy on pot pulled over by police. Asked if he knew his speed. Was 5 
mph!
F. LSD accumulates in the brain and spinal column and shows up on x-
rays.
Fb.McDonald's coffee stirrers changed; they were used by cocaine 
sniffers.  
   ["Mickey Mouse Acid" in TCD]
F.*Banana peels and peanut shells contain hallucinogenic substances.
F.*"Street" acid (LSD) is frequently cut with strychnine.


ASTONISHING ANTIPODEAN ANTICS
F. Some part of Australia is antipodal to some part of N. America or 
Europe.
T. Cane toads are now a plague, originally imported to eat cane 
beetles.
F. Koalas are always stoned/drunk, as they eat alcohol in eucalyptus 
leaves.
Fb.Koalas, being filled with eucalyptus oil, "explode" in bushfires.  
[Rats!]
F. Kangaroos deliver the mail in the outback.
U. "Goanna Oil" dissolves muscle protein.  Goannas are large native 
lizards.
U. Driver fools tourists in Milford tunnel bus,says motorbike is 
oncoming
train
U. Dingos eat babies.  Australian courts say YES, NO, YES.
Fb.Aussies put vegemite under eyelids to get high.  Yum!
T. Some New Zealanders do not think very highly of Australians.
T. There sure are lots of stories about Vegemite.  [Why not Marmite?] 
F. Rights to "Waltzing Matilda" are owned by an American, hence not 
anthem.
T. "Chooks" taste like chicken.
T. Tasmanian devils are not extinct.  Whoopee.


LEWD FOOD
T. There're kosher Chinese restaurants in and around big East Coast US 
cities.
T. Most mass-market beers contain "foaming agents" to make them form a 
head.
U. Eating lots of chicken fast food causes males to grow breasts (from
hormones
T. Eggs and chicken are horribly contaminated, and should NOT be eaten 
raw.
T. Unless marked "dairy", fast food shakes aren't milk: mostly 
carrageen gel.
T. Lead leaches from lead crystal decanters into drinks; is not good 
for you.
F. Eating carrots may improve night vision, because of large amounts 
of Vit A.
Tb.Microwaved food is better (other cooking allegedly creates 
carcinogens)
Tb.Eating celery takes more energy than its digestion yields.
U. Mick Jagger used a Mars bar as a dildo on nubile pop loon Marianne
Faithful.
T. Kim Scheinberg posts her denial in her autobiography,but she would 
say
that. 
F,T,T,U.Fast food places use unusual ingredients: worm, 'roo meat, 
seaweed,
rat.
   ["'The Kentucky Fried Rat' and Other Nasties" in TVH]
F. Stranger at restaurant eats your cookies, you grab, later find you 
took
his.
   ["The Packet of Biscuits" in TCD.  Douglas Adams claims this really
happened
   to him. Also a variant w/Kit Kat bars.]
F.*Cook cheated into buying Mrs Fields' recipe, gets revenge by 
spreading it.
   ["The Mrs. Fields Cookie Recipe" in CBA.  This is probably a 
descendant of 
   the "Red Velvet Cake" UL in TVH.  Another version involves Nieman-
Marcus
   and many other noted retail establishments.]
F. Green M&M's (also "Smarties" in UK and Canada) are an aphrodisiac.
T. Andrew Welsh has tried them.
F. Red M&M's are a carcinogen (Nope, they used red dye #5,not 
dangerous #2)
   [Both M&M legends are in "Green M&Ms" in TMP]
F. Ingesting a tapeworm will help you slim, so people do this 
regularly
   ["'Bosom Serpent' Legends" in TCD.]
T. Many CIA (and other gov't) snackbars are staffed by blind people.
F. They're hired to help maintain secrecy.
F. Grape seeds can get caught in your appendix and give you 
appendicitis.
T. Steven Bellovin thinks diverticulitis may be source of this UL.
T. British army doses water with bromide (for purification), soldiers 
say
it's.
U. ...to suppress soldiers' libidos. US Army salts their peters with
saltpeter.
Fb.Kennedy family made their pile thru a Scotch import monopoly
Tb.Kennedy family made their pile thru smuggling Scotch during 
prohibition.
F. The red leaves of Poinsettias (aka the Xmas Plant) are deadly 
poisonous.
   ["The Poinsettia Myth" in TMP.]
T. Poinsettia sap and leaves are irritants and may harm small 
children.
T. People have been poisoned by eating food cooked on burning oleander
branches
Tb.Asparagus stinks up pee, but ability to smell it is genetically 
inherited.
T. Fresh seeds from plants of rose family react to form cyanide in the 
body.
T. Lots of Asian restaurants have humorous names to English speakers.
Fb.Restaurant mints are pissy because patrons don't wash after going 
to the
loo.
F. Mikey (Life cereal) exploded from eating Pop Rocks with soda (You 
wish!)
   ["The Death of Little Mikey" in TCD]
F.*A popular Mexican beer (esp. Corona) was made with urine.
F.*Snapple either supports Operations Rescue/KKK and/or the ship on 
the
   label is a slave ship.
F.*Tropical Fantasy causes sterility in black men.
T. Some people like to eat the placenta (aka afterbirth) of their 
children.
F. Shampoos and foreign beauty aids are made from aborted babies.
   ["The Secret Ingredient" in TMP]
F. Couple travels to exotic locale with pet dog. Eatery prepares it 
for them.
   ["Food and Restaurant Rumors and Legends"/"Unfortunate Pet 
Legends", TCD]
F. Ethnic eateries (Chinese/E. Indian/Italian) use cat/dog/human meat 
instead 
   of expected meat.["The Eaten Pets"/"Further Ethnic Stereotype 
Legends,"TMP]
F. Cantaloupes are infected with salmonella and are thus bad to eat.
F. Snake hidden in imported fruit (bananas, pineapple, etc.) 
bites/kills some-
   one.  ["The Snake in the Greens" in TBT]
T.*Woman removes label from "tuna" can, finds cat food label 
underneath.
T.*The cat food actually was tuna canned 6 years earlier in Canada, 
declared
   unfit for human consumption, allowed to be exported as pet food, 
and then
   illegally relabeled as tuna again.  (Toronto Star, March 24, 1992)
Fb.In pre-revolutionary Paris, peasants resold food from restaurant 
garbage.
T. Vegemite (and Marmite) is made from yeast by-products, salt, and 
other
stuff
Fb.Cannibalism was a common means of sustenance for past cultures.
F. "Instant" ramen noodles are coated w/wax and can cause intestinal 
blockage.
Fb.Drinking alcoholic beverages through a straw makes one drunker 
faster.
Tb.Carbonation in whisky and soda makes one drunk faster than a 
straight
whisky
F. Marco Polo brought pasta back to Italy from the Chinese.
T. Spinach has no more iron than other vegetables; UL due to misplaced
decimal.
F.*People eat chocolate because it gives them the same feeling as 
being in
love
F. Chocolate makes people horny.
T. Some McDonald's do give free soft drink refills. There may not be 
signs
tho.
F. Peeling labels off a beer bottle means you're: a) a virgin, b) 
gonna get
   lucky, c) sexually frustrated.
F. Eating hot bread is bad for you (alcohol, stomach upset, etc.)
Tb.Don't use fresh/frozen pineapple, Kiwi fruit, or maggots to make 
Jell-O.   
Tb.Certain Eng. documentaries notwithstanding, spaghetti doesn't grow 
on
trees.
T. Some English beers contain fish guts.
F. The "Baby Ruth" candy bar was named for George "Babe" Ruth.  Duh.
T. ...It was really named for US president Grover Cleveland's oldest 
daughter.
T. ...There are those who believe that the manufacturer wanted to 
avoid paying
   ...royalties to the "Babe."  [Notable AFUers:  pvdl and Ted Frank.]
T. But the "Babe" was a pitcher when it came out and wasn't really 
famous yet.
F. "Bubble Yum" bubble gum is manufactured with spiders eggs.
   ["The Kentucky Fried Rat" in TVH.]
T. There sure are lots of stories of food service people jacking off 
into
food.
T. Most, if not all, are false though.
T. If you want to know what the "33" on Rolling Rock beer means.  Read 
the
   _Straight Dope_ books mentioned at the end of the FAQ list.
F. Eating ice will strip the enamel off your teeth or is somehow "bad" 
for
you.
T. Some people were buying large quantities of baby formula in the US 
because 
   it was cheaper than in nearby large metropolitan areas.
T. Yes, we've heard of the story about a woman, a dog, and peanut 
butter.
F. Putting a spoon in a bottle of champagne will help keep it from 
going flat.

SNUFF MOVIES
Tb.The Feds, cops, CIA, etc. have never actually found a real snuff 
film.
T. Scotland Yard has found no evidence of snuff films in the last 20 
years.
F. "Snuff films" actually exist (Nope, tho' there are various wannabe 
fakes)
T. Some psychotics have taped the murder of their victims.
T. Search in WestLaw in 1991 showed no mention of cases on "snuff 
films".
F.*"Faces of Death" is a snuff film. [See Larry Doering plot summary.]
F. "Snuff" was the name of a real snuff film.
T. We never saw a snuff film that we didn't like.
T. Dean Lambey in California was arrested in 1989 by an undercover 
officer 
   and tried and convicted while planning to make a snuff film. 
Conviction
   was upheld by a federal appeals court in 1992 in Richmond, VA.
F. There were at least two different endings to "Old Yeller".  

By definition, a snuff film is one in which the film is the *purpose* 
of
(rather than incidental to) the murder and with some intent of 
commercial 
distribution (i.e. if they ran out of film, the murder would be 
postponed 
until someone could run down to the 7-11 & get more). Paul Lanning, 
the 
FBI's chief researcher into child pornography was quoted by _The 
Times_ 
of London:

      "In 20 years I have not seen any hard evidence that they have
       commercially produced sexually explicit films of murders for 
the
       gratification of other people.  Simulated snuff movies using
       special effects are so realistic there is no point in risking 
life
       in jail."

Note to the new reader: please don't send or post e-mail saying "snuff 
movies
*could* exist, because people are naughty enough" - this is not in 
dispute;
the point is that no examples have yet come to light.  Until someone 
shows
evidence of their existence, snuff films are in the same category as 
UFO's,
the Loch Ness monster, and Bruce Willis's hair -- i.e. "believed 
false."


UPSTANDING LEGENDS OF THE PENIS AND SCROTUM
F. Model's dick showed in a Sears catalog ad for shorts (it was 
drawstring!)
T. But it looked a little like the model's wiener, and folks thought 
it was.
T. Nelson Rockefeller died of cardiac arrest while porking the help.
U. Errol Flynn banged out "Star-spangled Banner" on xylophone with his 
big
dong
F. Gangster John Dillinger's long wang is pickled in a jar at/near
Smithsonian.
F. In Nigeria, roving gangs of thieves may surreptitiously steal mens' 
dorks.
T. Groupies took plaster casts of pop singers' schlongs, inc Hendrix's
whacker.
Tb.Adolf Hitler only had one testicle.  Immortalized in many a kid's 
rhyme.
T. If you have to ask about Hitler's or Goebbels' balls, try using 
your
   brain instead of repeating that stupid song.
T. There sure are lots of stories about LBJ and his peter.
T. Masturbator's penis in hose chopped by fan blade of Hoover Dustette
cleaner.
T. This is dubbed the legend of "the Cleaner and the Leaner Wiener".
U. Woman slits guy's scrotum, sticks straw in, and blows; he gets off 
on it...
F. Child in mall goes to toilet; is abducted; has willie cut off.  
[TCD]
F. Drunk joyriding on hood of car, loses parts to hood ornament at 
sudden
stop.
F. Wife seduces cheating husband then superglues his plonker while he 
sleeps.
   ["The Superglue Revenge" in TCD]
T. Guy hurts self after sex w/machine drive belt, has self surgery 
w/stapler.
Fb.Health worker in US/Africa demos condom usage to immigrants/natives 
w/a 
   broom/finger. Woman returns pregnant. She had used EXACTLY as 
taught.
U. Napoleon's wanker was cut off at autopsy and was recently auctioned 
off.
F. Number of stars on _Playboy_ cover is # of times Hef banged the 
centerfold.
T. ...It's a distribution code.
T. Public boners are banned in Indiana.  Law upheld by US Supreme 
Court.
T. Couple on UK train had oral sex, then sex, then smoked in non-
smoking area,
F. ...nobody complained until they started smoking;
T. ...train crew ignored complaints until couple started smoking.
F. Young man is at dinner party w/future in-laws. His fiance says his 
zipper
   ...is unzipped. He attempts to distract them by pointing out the 
window
   ...and calling out "Look at that!"  Where 2 dogs are doing the 
nasty, or 
   ...he slyly zips up his fly, but when he gets up, drags the table 
cloth off
   ...'cause he trapped the cloth in his fly! ["Nudes and More Nudes" 
in TVH]
F. Woman reports to emergency room and sez diaphram is stuck. Drs. 
remove it
   to find it's covered with grape jelly. Directions said to "...use 
w/jelly."
Tb.Andy Wardley puts the "winky" in "Winky-Dink."

HIDE THE SALAMI
U. Cuckolded husband replaces contents of wife's pessaries with lye.
T. Mad doctor in Ohio cut off womens' clitoral hoods while operating 
on them.
T. People put assorted objects up their asses, get stuck, removed in 
hospital.
F. Well-known film star et al. put a gerbil up his ass for "wriggly 
furry fun"
   ["The Colo-Rectal Mouse" in TMP.  Related entries in LEGAL BEAGLES]
T. Search of Medline in December 1993 using key words "anus, rectum, 
rodent,
   gerbil" showed no such incident ever found. Lots of other stuff 
though.
F. Well-known male pop star rushed from concert, stomach pumped free 
of semen.
   [Said of Elton John, Rod Stewart, David Lee Roth, and Marc Almond.]
F. Spanish fly (Cantharides) is aphrodisiac (actually genital tract 
irritant).
F. Girl slipped spanish fly at drive-in movie; found impaled on gear 
shift.
   ["Miscellaneous Sex Legends" in TCD]
F. Woman tied naked to bed, man in superhero costume with broken leg 
in
closet.
T. Var: guy is seduced by woman, tied to bed, and sodomized by 
"superhero."
T. ...Similar motif in Stephen King's novel _Gerald's Game_.
Fb.Hetero couple get stuck together while coupling.  Separated at 
hospital.
   ["The Stuck Couple" in TCD]
F. One night stand, partner leaves early, other partner finds msg 
"Welcome to
   the world of AIDS". ["AIDS Mary" in CBA]
Fb.Female gang initiation ceremony is to screw an HIV+ male member.
F. Student is regularly nocturnally chloroformed by roommate, for 
sodomy.
Tb....This may have actually happened in the Dutch army.  Those 
officers!
F. `Baghdad Betty' told US army that Bart Simpson was sleeping with 
their
wives
Tb.Would-be rapist steals kisses; one Calif victim bit a piece off his 
tongue.
F. Man fills wife's lover's convertible with concrete.  
   ["The Solid Cement Cadillac" in TVH]
T. Woman's womb filled with air during cunnilingus; she dies due to 
embolism.
F. Woman impregnated while swimming, due to sperm loose in pool.
F. Woman impregnated when hit by bullet that shot Civil War soldier's
testicles
   ["Miscellaneous Sex Legends" in TCD]
Tb.Unintentional virgin birth happens occasionally in bizarre 
circumstances.
Tb.E.g. vagina-less woman,fellates lover, stabbed in gut by
boyfriend,pregnant!
F. Silicone breasts expand under low pressure (eg. airline 
stewardesses on
job)
U. Mother threatens to discipline kid;kid threatens to squeal on mom's
fellatio.
F. Husband informed that septic tank/toilet blockage due to too many 
condoms;
   but he doesn't use them; confronts wife, she confesses affair 
w/milkman.
   He waits and shoots milkman next day; but it was a substitute 
milkman!
   ["The Evidence" in TMP]
F. Couple goes to "love" hotel w/hot tub, mirrors, etc.  Make the sign 
of the
   eight legged aardvark.  Upon return, call up an X-movie and see 
themselves!
   ["Sex Scandals" in TCD]
F. A guy picks up a girl at a party. But is unable to "perform" so 
asks
   a friend at the party to finish it for him.  His friend does so and
   in the morning, finds that he slept with his sister!   Similar 
motif
   happens in a halloween or other costumed ball setting.  [This and 
related
   ULs relating to mistaken identities are discussed in "Mistaken 
Identity"
   in CBA.]
F. There was a significant increase in NYC births about 9 months after 
   1965 Blackout.  ["The Baby Train" in TBT.]
Tb.A town in Oregon banned all sex.
Tb.Rimming (oral/anal contact) is legal in Utah.
F. Catherine the Great died while trying to have something to do with 
a horse.
Fb....Mr. Ed was descended from that horse.
F. For some reason, a woman is doing the laundry in the nude. She puts 
on her
   son's football helmet, and is surpised by plumber/gas man who says 
some-
   thing like "I hope your team wins, lady."  ["Nudes and More Nudes" 
in TVH]
F. Some subdenomination of Jews have sex through a sheet.  (See 
soc.culture.
   jewish FAQ).


DISNEY DEMENTIA [AND OTHER AMUSEMENT PARK STORIES]
T. Disney parks are riddled with secret tunnels and surveillance 
equipment.
T.*"Little Mermaid" video cover features good drawing of penis. Prank?
Revenge?
T. There is a basketball hoop at the top of the Matterhorn replica.
T. Male Disneyites may not grow beards (& many other petty rules for 
women
too)
   [Applies only to "On Stage" cast members.]
T. There is a "secret" "Club 33" serving hard liquor, in New Orleans 
Square,
   Disneyland.
T. Clerics in their robes are admitted to Disneyland at concessionary 
rates.
T. Wheelchairs & 1 attendant go to the front of the line for rides.
Tb.Disney ripped off Orlando county, thru grabbing Federal road funds
T. Woman alleges breast-fondling by 1/3 of 3 Little Pigs; case thrown 
out.
F. Three little pigs clit-tickled law-suit happy babe, with non-mobile 
arms.
F. Child disappears from Disneyland, found with new haircut, dyed by 
abductor.
T. SF writer Harlan Ellison fired from Dismall Studios after Mickey 
porn joke.
T. Harlan Ellison was ticked to hell at snopes.
T. Lots of people don't know who H. Ellison is.  Lots more don't care.
F.*Old Walt Disney's dead body was frozen for later revivification.
F. Child goes for ride on popular ride; feels bites; dies from snake 
bites!
F. Water in "Tunnel of Love" ride infested with snakes.  [Both in 
"Death in 
   the Funhouse" in _CBA_.Stephanie da Silva says this really happened 
to
her.]
T. Disney caused people to believe that Lemmings suicide in march to 
sea.


QUESTION AUTHORITY (AND OTHER CONSPIRACIES)
U. CIA fixed the Anarchist's Cookbook, so explosive blows up as you 
make it.
T. You may *own* the mailbox, but US Postal Service controls what goes 
in it.
T. The CIA, NSA and 11 different secret govt organizations tap & bug
everything
T. Princess Anne was only female competitor not given sex test in 1976
Olympics
F. Guy/gal wakes up in Big City, a kidney has been stolen from him!
T. ...Common variation now is Americans/Europeans/et al. stealing 
children
   from some poor (e.g., Guatamela) country for their organs.
Fb.Hubbard started Scientology after Heinlein bet he couldn't found a
religion.
   Bill Van Horne actually posted some useful stuff that I used to 
change
this.
T. alt.religion.scientology FAQ sez "F," but I haven't been converted 
yet.
F. P&G's logo reflects Satanic or Moonie ties. 
   ["The Proctor & Gamble Trademark" in TCD]
F. On "Oprah" designer Liz Claiborne said her clothes were not 
designed for 
   black women because their "hips were too big".
F. On "Oprah" designer Liz Claiborne said she supports the KKK.
Tb.Candy manufacturers sneakily micro-reduce size of product to gyp 
you.
F. Universal Product Codes (computer readable bar-codes) are marks of 
Satan.
P. VP Bush persuaded Iranians to delay hostage release to aid Reagan 
election.
U. Govt has secret plan to replace the currency overnight to foil drug 
barons.
Tb.CIA radio transmits spoken five digit code numbers to operatives 
worldwide
T. You can send a coconut thru the mail without any further wrapping. 
Yowser!
F. Sticking one of those "Postage Paid" reply cards on a heavy object 
(e.g.,
   a brick) will cost the addressee the postage. [Nope, USPS tosses 
it.]
T. Some change-making machines can be fooled by photocopies of 
currency.
T. NSA leaned on NIST to propose less secure digital signature 
standard than 
   RSA.
T. After a public outcry, NIST allowed a longer key (up to 1024 bits) 
which
   made it into the digital signature standard FIPS-186
Tb. The reason DSA was used for digital signatures rather than the 
more proven

    RSA algorithm was that NSA opposes easy public access to an 
algorithm


    that can also be used for general encryption.  (RSA can/DSA 
can't).
F. Unification Church (i.e. Moonies) owns Entenmann's bakery
F. Unification Church (i.e. Moonies) owns Waldenbooks.
Tb.Unification Church (i.e. Moonies) owns a fish processing plant in 
   Gloucester, Massachusetts.
U. Those guys selling roses on roads are connected with the Moonies.
T. Entenmann's owned by General Foods, Philip Morris bought, merged w/ 
Kraft.
F.*Ship captains, on their own authority, can perform marriages.
F. Govt cabbage price memo lots longer than var. patriotic/religious
documents.
   ["The Price of Cabbage Memo" under "Government Legends" in TCD.]
F. Govt regularly burns WWII-era hemp fields. Only high officials know 
where.
F. If you are the first to read this and send me e-mail, you will 
receive $10.
Fb.Class requests satellite imaging photo; US says "no";(then) USSR 
says
"yes".
F. Compensation paid to kin of Salem witches up to 1957 (per _The 
Economist_).
F. Alleged witches were burned at the stake in the US during the Salem 
trials.
T. Alleged witches were hanged or pressed to death.
T. Mass. recanted the Salem trials and freed the witches within a few 
years
T. Name of last alleged witch was cleared in 1957.
Tb.Whole business is extraordinarily similar to modern accusations of
Satanism.
T. Crop circles (at least in the UK) have been shown to be man-made.
T.*Mapmakers place copyright traps in maps (e.g., Rand-McNally, no. 
Thomas 
   Maps, yes)
U. Several noted movies have "death curses" on them.
Fb.Major firms/gov't suppress evidence of a super great
product(car,light,etc.)
   ["The Economical Car" in TVH and CBA]
T. The USA did have a 49 star flag.
Tb.There really is a place called "Wyoming."
F. Some 1963 $1 bills have a 'K' for JFK, 11 for month of death to 
commemorate
   JFK.  ["The Kennedy Note" in TMP]
T. Channel 1 for TV existed in the US, but was eliminated by the FCC 
in 1945.
U. Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.
F. An undercover cop must answer yes to "Are you a cop?" to avoid 
entrapment.
Fb.Guy dodges draft by eating peanut butter/hotdog from rectum in 
front of MD.
F. There was once a female Pope in the Roman Catholic Church.
F.*Noted atheist Madalyn Murray O'Hair is petitioning the FCC to ban 
religious

   broadcasting.
F.*U.S. Patent Office head once said that it be closed because 
"Everything
that
   can be invented has been invented."
F. It's illegal to pick Trilliums in Ontario, Canada.
U. Lots of places are supposedly either 3rd or 22nd to be bombed in 
WWIII.
F. Ads for "free pets" are frequently answered by testing labs for 
specimens.
T. Gerald Ford did have a vice president(who is mentioned elsewhere in 
the
FAQ)
T. Bank policies on ATMs work differently in different areas.
F. The king of Denmark wore a yellow star in solidarity with Jews in 
WWII.
T. There were (are?) Japanese soldiers hiding out on isles in Pacific 
who 
   believed WWII was still on.
F. The Trilateral Commission is working to take over the world.
F. Ditto for the Council on Foreign Relations.
F. Queen Victoria so loved _Alice in Wonderland_ she requested copies 
of all 
   Lewis Carroll's books. Was ticked with copy of _Symbolic Logic_.
F. You can tell if a big op. is happening at US gov't by level of 
pizza
orders.
T. Craig Becker once went nuts and bought a whole shitload of Jack 
Chick
comix.
T. Canadians sure seem to get worked up about this "50-40" business.
T. People can just ramble on about Jehovah's Witnesses & getting rid 
of 'em.
T. AFUBOT.
F. Mary Baker Eddy (Christian Science) was buried w/a phone so she 
could
   her followers from "The Other Side."
U. There may or may not have been an AFU EAST.  I need $$ to find out.
T. There are many, many anecdotal stories descrbing why US$2 bills are
unlucky.
F. Story involving a page or an elevator operator telling US Rep. Fred 
"Love
   Boat" Grandy "Lido Deck, sir?" or "Promenade Deck, sir?" 
subsequently being
   fired.



LEGAL BEAGLES [See also WILD LIFE, STUPID PEOPLE TRICKS, and SNUFF]
F. Guy trims hedges with lawnmower but trims own extremities; sues; 
wins big!
   ["The Lawnmower Accident", TMP,"Media Sources and Business Legends" 
in TCD]
T. Check in various legal databases shows no such case appealed.
Tb.Some people think researching the most trivial legal point is great 
fun.
F. There are legal limits on how much of your debts you can pay in 
coins (US)
T. ...Though some Treasury PR flack did imply otherwise for pennies 
and
nickels.
T. ...but there have been legal limits on how much coin a creditor 
must
accept.
T. Woman sued drink co.; she was blinded by bottle cap after opening 
w/pliers.
F. The US has 70% of world's lawyers.
U. U.S. Supreme Court ruled that "professional wrestling" was 
entertainment, 
   not sport.
T. Gerbils are illegal in California.[CA Reg. Title 14, Sec. 671 
(c)(2)(J) 1].
Tb.Gerbils are trained to sniff drugs in Canada.  Those Canadians!
F. You must be hit thrice before retaliation can be construed as self-
defense.
Fb.Hackers couldn't be convicted because system had "Welcome to X 
system" msg.
   ...therefore systems now have legal notices instead.


WILD LIFE IN THE FAST LANE
F. As part of initiation, potential gang members drive around with 
   headlights off at night and will shoot people who flash headlights 
at them.
T. There seem to be quite a few warnings about fatal gang initiations 
lately.
   [e.g., flashing headlights, clothing, etc.]
T. Not surprisingly, other ULs (e.g., "Killer in the Backseat", ankle 
tendon
   slashers, etc.) have emerged with "gang initiation" motifs.
Fb.Schoolkid beheaded by road sign,due to sticking his head out the 
bus
window.
T. Oregon Highway Div blows up eight ton dead whale, showers area with
blubber.
T. See D. Barry's column and an *.avi file on available at 
cathouse.org.
Fb.Gas (petrol) engines pollute the same as diesel; diesel just smells 
worse.
Tb.Diesel engines emit more unburnt hydrocarbons than gas ones 
w/catalytic
conv
Ft.Power windows in cars trap kids' limbs, necks.  Kill or maim them.
T. A 2 yr-old girl was killed by a power window in a Fiat in the UK in 
May
1992
F. Stop signs with a white border are optional.  (Oh, I don't think 
so...)
F. Leaving car radio on when the ignition switch is off will drain 
battery.
   [Exc. VWs, etc. where the radio is not switched thru the ignition 
switch.]
Tb.Airbag in car can give you a chemical burn when it deploys.
U. Driver sets cruise control, wrongly believes it steers too!  
Crashes...
   ["'Cruise Control' Stories" in TCD.]
Tb.Tree-lined French avenue triggers epileptic fits by flickering 
light at
11Hz
F. The VW Beetle was designed by Hitler.  [It was designed by F. 
Porsche.]
T. Hitler did push the idea of the Beetle as a "people's car" though 
perhaps
     solely for propaganda purposes.
Fb.New car rattles -- note found in door frame from factory 
saboteur...
   ["The Rattle in the Cadillac" in TCD.Classic UL always involves a 
luxury
car
T. Montana & Wyoming have a token $5 fine for exceeding Federal 55mph 
limit.
T. Mongo-power engine installed in weenie-looking car.  Blows off 
Corvettes.
T. John Somebody-or-other built car called "the Beast" with 27lt 
Spitfire
engine
T. It eventually took off, and self-destructed on the A27 outside 
Brighton.
T. Special equipment can transmit any reading you want to police radar 
gun.
T. There are traffic lights with green on top in a few US Irish 
neighborhoods.
T. You can be guilty of DUI on a bicycle, horse, perambulator, etc 
most
places.
T. Guy in Los Alamos labs fitted a jet engine to Honda Civic, ran on 
salt
flats.
U. Person fitted rocket/JATO unit to car, embedded in rockface at 
first bend.
Fb.Man working on roof ropes himself to car on other side;wife drives
off.Splat.
T. The "man on roof" appeared on a home video show in UK. Believed to 
be
staged.
F. Hitchhiker disappears, is ghost of person killed years ago in road
accident.
   ["The Vanishing Hitchhiker" in TVH and TMP]
F. Valuable classic car sold for pittance by (1) grieving parents of 
war dead
F,U(2) spouse of errant husband (3) heirs of person who died and 
rotted in it.
Fb.(4) sold by widow who would receive either car or proceeds of its 
sale.
   ["The Death Car" and "The Philanderer's Porsche" in TVH.  "The 
Bargain
   Sports Car" in CBA]
F. Psycho's handhook hanging from the car door, broken off as couple 
drove
away
   ["The Hook" in TVH]
F. Carthief squashed dead in stolen BMW by collapsing freeway in '89 
SF quake
F. Driving barefoot is illegal most places (Nope, but it's dumb to 
goad cops)
T. Driving barefoot is illegal in the state of Kentucky.
T. New York car thief stole lab delivery of cadaver heads...
U. Red sports cars generate disproportionate number of speeding 
tickets.
F. Man crashes into toll booth while receiving fellatio from 
girlfriend.
Fb.Flashing your headlights will cause a traffic light to change 
faster.
T. It's really no big deal that there are towns named "Intercourse" 
and
   "Blue Ball" in Pennsylvania.  Post it to misc.misc if you can't 
resist.
Tb.There are some lights w/sensors for emergency vehicles.
Tb.There're lots folk remedies to plug up old radiators: cigarettes, 
pepper.
T. Lots of places have weird street names.
T. You can find lots of weird msgs on license plates if you try really 
hard.
T. "SIGAlerts" in the greater LA area are named for a guy named Loyd 
Sigmon.
F. Couple's car out of gas; he gets help; she hears noise, then cops 
arrive;
   tell her to leave & not look back; she does, sees him hanging or 
   decapitated.  ["The Boyfriend's Death" in TVH]
F. Guy tries to siphon gas from an RV but instead siphons from the 
septic
tank;
   found unconscious by RV next morning.
Tb."Maintenance-Free" batteries were invented for cheaper transport of 
new
cars
F. Police officer pulls over female driver. She asks about tickets to 
a 
   policemen's ball, he replies "Policemen don't have balls" and he 
leaves 
   flustered (or she is totally embarassed). ["Miscellaneous Sex 
Legends" TCD]
Fb.Woman gets in her car at night; is followed on the way home; calls 
for
help;
   husband accosts the guy; guy was trying to warn woman of thug in 
backseat
of
   her car.  ["The Killer in the Back Seat", TVH]
Fb.Parking spot taken from older woman by two younger women. They tell 
her
   "Sorry we're younger and faster." Woman reflects, rams their car, 
and
   replies "I'm older and richer".  [Several variations on the 
repartee.]
   ["Old vs. Young" in TMP and also used in the film "Fried Green 
Tomatoes".]
F. A motorcyclist at high speed hits a fly which goes to his brain via 
his
eye.
F. An auto worker steals parts of a Caddy bit by bit until he has a 
whole car.
U. Fancy car has "No Radio" sign. Owner returns to broken windshield 
and "No 
   Windshield"/"Get One" or "Just Checking" sign. 
Fb.Truck gets stuck at low bridge. Noone knows what to do; a young kid
suggests
   letting the air out of the tires.
U. UK people drive on the left (etc) to allow easy sword access in old 
days.
F. Someone never gets tickets because his license plates say "NONE".
Tb.Freon can be used to break Kryptonite locks.
F. In great desperation, mother lifts car off and rescues trapped 
child.
F. Woman picks up elderly woman hitchhiker; sees that HH has hairy 
arms; gets 
   HH out on pretense;takes off;later finds cleaver/hatchet/knife in 
seat.
   ["The Hairy Armed Hitchhiker" in TCD.]
F. Couple w/baby on long trip stops to switch places; place baby on 
roof; they
   forget it up there! Police cruiser pull them over and baby is 
rescued.
   ["The Baby on the Roof" in TCD.]
F. Grandma dies on long family trip; they strap body to roof; car is 
stolen!
   ["The Runaway Grandmother" in TVH.]
T. "The Club" is lame because a thief could cut through the wheel in 
no time.
T. You sure gets lots of junk when you ask about US highway numbering 
schemes.
T. Not many threads are dumber than [non]funny place and street 
names...
   ...except for "names in phonebooks."
F. Rolls-Royce will go to great extremes to fix problems and deny that 
there
   were any problems to protect their image.
F. There are various extremely harsh penalities (e.g., execution) for
   drunk driving in other countries (e.g., Turkey, Norway, El 
Salvador, etc.)
T. ...this story is commonly spread via flyers.

LEGENDS ABOUT NATATORY CAPABILITIES OF LARGE ANTHROPOID PRIMATES
Tb.Gorillas can't swim.
T. Certain tribes of Japanese macaques sift their grain in the sea.
Fb.Many simians hold regular swimming contests; winners mate w/ choice
females.
Tb....Losers go on "The Love Connection." 
T. Some monkeys prefer not to swim at all; will drown if dropped in 
water.
P. Chimpanzee muscles are formed in a way that renders backstroke 
impossible.
T. "Baywatch" proves that apes share at least 95% of DNA with humans.
T. Lee "Cow Pie King" Rudolph is the 100th lemur.


ASTOUNDING AVIAN ANOMALIES
F. Birds cannot sing while on the ground.
Tb.Govt forces commercial birdseed to be irradiated to stop hemp seed
sprouting
T. Radar emissions can kill birds, sterilize sailors, fry other small 
mammals.
T. Chickens are easily mesmerized. Whoopee.
F. Sprinkle salt on a bird's tail to catch it by preventing it flying 
away.
T. If the bird let you get close enough to salt its tail, you could 
grab it.
F. Seagulls (and other creatures) explode when you feed them Alka-
Seltzer,
   rice, or "pop-rocks" - dried coconuts?.["The Death of Little Mikey" 
in
TCD].
F. Birds won't sit on their nests if you touch one of their eggs.
F. The resonance frequency of a chicken's skull cavity is ~7 Hz.
Tb.Some birds get drunk by eating partly fermented berries/fruits. 


DOGGIE-STYLE and CATTY-WUMPUSS [See also LEWD FOOD]
F. Dalmatians and humans are the only mammals whose urine contain 
urea.
Tb.Dalmatians and humans are the only mammals who cannot break down
   uric acid into its soluble form, "allantoin."
U. Old/ditzy woman puts dog in microwave to dry it out- it dies 
gruesome 
   death/lives to bark again.  ["The Pet (or Baby) in the Oven" and 
"Hot Dog" 
   in TVH.  Also "I Read It in the Paper" in TCD.]
T. Cruel people and other weirdos will microwave pets. This is not a 
surprise.
T. A Baltimore lawyer was busted for microwaving a kitten in January 
1992.
F. A Doberman chokes on fingers that it bit off burglar hidden in 
closet.
   ["The Choking Doberman" in, surprise! TCD and TMP]
F. Plastic/glass water bottles on lawn prevent dogs urinating in the 
area.
   ["Lawn Order in New Zealand (and elsewhere)" in CBA]
F. The scent of wolf dung terrifies dogs, so disposal by zoos is 
regulated.
T. Radioactive cat litter found in May 1991 in Berkeley, Calif
U. Source of the litter was radioactive cat food? Cat on radiation 
therapy?
T. Days-old body in home discovered headless.  Was eaten by dog!
T. Cats can carry a parasite (toxoplasmosis) which is esp.dangerous to
fetuses.
Tb.Aspirin is very bad for cats (slow removal of salicyates from their
bodies).
Tb.Dog gets shock from phone line, urinates, phone rings!
F. Woman's cat dies. She puts it in a shopping bag/box to take it to 
the
   country for burial. On the way, she stops at a store and puts the 
bag
   down. She turns around and bag is shoplifted.  ["The Dead Cat in 
the
   Package" in TVH.  There's an amusing ending in one of the stories.] 
T. Many variations on above with urine samples in bottles and bags of 
garbage.
F. Cat steals some dinner, turns up dead, guests' stomachs pumped; but 
cat
   had been run over by neighbor and posed, so as not to ruin dinner 
party.
Tb.In WW2, Russians fed dogs under tanks, then released them in battle 
with
   anti-tank explosives having an antenna-like trigger on their backs.
Tb.Dogs ran under wrong ones, German tanks didn't smell like Russian 
tanks.
T. Most Russian tanks were diesel, most German ones weren't.
T. German high command counters by spreading rabies rumors, 
encouraging
   soldiers to shoot every dog they see.
T. Some animal shelters have prohibited the adoption of cats during 
Halloween
   to avoid cruelty by "Satanists."  Robin Colleen Moore is on the 
lookout.
F. Firemen rescue old lady's cat from tree. She invites them for tea. 
They run
   over cat when they leave.  ["The Bungled Rescue of the Cat" in CBA]
T. ...it is reported as happening in S. Pile's _The Book of Heroic 
Failures_.
T. Cats and rabbits do not interbreed, though rabbits will hump 
anything warm.

OTHER ANIMAL (BUT NON-BUGGY) CRACKERS
U. Every animal has enough brains in its head to preserve its own 
hide.
F. Dead rabbit next door dug up by dog;washed, put in cage by frantic
dogowner.
   ["The Hare Drier" in CBA.]
F. Killer whales will attack swimming dogs because they stink like 
hell.
F. Fox frees itself of fleas by gradual immersion, shifting fleas to 
lintball.
Fb.Driver runs over exotic animal,wraps in coat for fun photo;it 
revives, runs

   off!  Similar story: A hunter poses for picture w/deer w/rifle in 
antlers.
Fb.Farmer asks hunter to shoot mule; other hunter shoots another mule 
too.
T. Armadillos can contract leprosy.
Tb.Armadillos can spread leprosy to humans.
Tb.Cow-tipping (pushing over a sleeping cow) has happened.
Tb.Cow-tipping is usually just a bunch of hooey to beguile city kids.
Tb.Candiru fish, native to S. America, can swim into your urethra.
T. Fainting goats are real.  Crimony!
T. Galapagos turtles do moan and groan during copulation.
F. Guinea pigs' eyes fall out if you hold them up by their tails.
T. Guinea pigs actually *do* have small stumpy vestigial tails. Take a 
look!
Fb.Horse falls thru bottom of moving trailer, legs ground to stumps.
Fb.Otter, newly-released after $50K Valdez clean-up, is eaten by 
whale.
T. Rats cannot vomit (the basis for many rat poisons).
F.*There are [albino] alligators inhabiting the sewers of New York 
City. 
[TVH]
T. There sure seem to be lots of stories about pigeons.
T. Sewer rats can come into the house and bite one's behind while on 
the
potty.
U. Litter from released balloons choke and kill whales, birds, etc.
F. [Domesticated] turkeys are so dumb,they'll drown if they're out in 
the
rain.
Fb.Trapper ties dynamite to coyote, releases; coyote runs under his 
car/house.
   ["The Coyote's Revenge" in TCD.  Similar ULs with rabbits, 
raccoons, fish, 
   etc. exist and are traced back to an old motif involving a cat in 
TMP]
F. Woman found a rat in Mexico and brought it home thinking it was a 
dog.
   ["The Mexican Pet" in, surprise! TMP]
F. Baby elephant escapes from circus; sits on VW;front/roof 
dented;later
police
   stop owner and ask what happened? ["The Elephant that Sat on a VW" 
in TCD.]
T. Rachel Perkins has seen blow-up sheep dolls.
F. A snake was sewn into a (esp. foreign-made) coat in a store and 
bites a
   customer. 


BAIT SHOP [THINK VERY CAREFULLY BEFORE POSTING TO THESE THREADS]
T. The etymology of "POSH."
T. Three-sided records.
T. Most anything to do with "Star Trek."
T. Cow tipping.
T. Anything by that forgettable pulp author, Kurt Vonnegut.


ARTHROPOD CRACKERS
T. Really big insects (snakes too) can get imported along with fruit
shipments.
F. Bugs congregate in the pointy ends of bananas, so discard before 
eating.
F. Dragonflies ("darning needles") can sting you very severely.
T. Only hymenopterans sting.  A large dragonfly may be strong enough 
to pinch.
F. If a dragonfly or a ladybug lands on you, you will have good luck.
T. "Killer" African bees are swarming into Texas from down South.
T. A lot of people have found live or dead insects in their fast food 
snacks.
T. Cockroaches love coffee, live in TV's, too often get in your cup or 
food.
T. Insect lays eggs in open wound; months later baby insects eat their 
way
out.
   Variation: Woman gets bitten, after insects out, she dies/has 
breakdown.
   ["The Spider Bite" in TMP]
F. Cactus shakes, then explodes with hundreds of scorpions/spiders.
   ["Spiders in the Yucca" in TMP]
F. Explorer gets bug in ear; bug eats thru to other ear; gave birth on 
way...
   [Various ULs of this type under "A Bug in the Ear" in _CBA_]
F. A woman w/beehive hairdo is so proud of it she doesn't wash her 
hair; she
   dies from bees/spiders in it. [Variations on bug and ethnicity also 
noted.]


   ["The Spider in the Hairdo" in TVH]
Fb.Lobsters,dropped in boiling water, scream.(Nah, it's steam from 
under
shell)
Fb.Moth/butterfly scales from wings will poison or blind you.
Fb.There are US state laws making it illegal to kill/capture praying 
mantises.
T. The bite of the Brown Recluse spider is nasty.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
----
The Frequently Asked Questions List has been maintained by Terry
Chan since July 1991.  Its inception and spirit was due to the
efforts of Peter van der Linden in February 1991.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
----

COPYRIGHT STUFF:
----------------
Copyright (c) 1994, Terry Chan and Peter van der Linden.
All Rights Reserved.  Permission for personal, educational or non-
profit use is granted provided this this copyright and notice are 
included in its entirety and remains unaltered.  All other uses must 
receive prior permission in writing from both Terry Chan (at 
TWChan@lbl.gov) and Peter van der Linden (at linden@eng.sun.com).  
Licensing terms on request.
--
Energy and Environment Division  | Mail:  twchan@lbl.gov 
Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory     | 
Berkeley, California  USA  94720 | What's it smell like?

                                      

@FROM   :TWChan@lbl.gov                                               
@SUBJECT:alt.folklore.urban  Frequently Asked Questions  [Part 4 of 4 
@PACKOUT:11-08-94                                                     
Message-ID: <42184@dog.ee.lbl.gov>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,news.answers,alt.answers
Organization: Department of Redundancy Department

Archive-name: folklore-faq/part4
Last-Modified: 94/11/1
Version: 2.50


1 November 1994

INTRODUCTION:

This is the last section of the four part Frequently Asked
Questions list for alt.folklore.urban.  This section credits
posters who have contributed in the spirit of the newsgroup
and also lists some basic references.  Note, many of the ULs
discussed in the FAQ list as being "F" or "T" are discussed
in one of the following references.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
----

PART IV:  CREDITS AND SOME REFERENCES
======================================================================
======
Many Thanks to the Following Posters for Relevant Information on
the FAQ List and for Contributing to the Overall Spirit and Quality
of alt.folklore.urban.
======================================================================
======
Jane Beckman, Steven Bellovin, Conrad Black, Mark Brader, Jean-Louis 
Brodu,
Danny Burstein, Jack Campin, Raymond Chen, Joe Chew, Patrick S Clark, 
Cathi 
A.Cook, Cindy Davies, Glenn Davis, Jeff Davis, Ray Depew, Scott 
Deerwester, 
Larry Doering, all the Terry's: Carroll, Chan, Monks, Wood, et al., 
David 
Esan, Clive Feather, Ted Frank, Greg Franklin, Alan Frisbie, Joel 
Furr, Kim 
Greer, Tom Greer, Dave Gross, Phil Gustafson, Jason R. Heimbaugh, 
David A. 
Honigs, David B. Horvath, Wendy Foran Howard, Mark Israel, Richard 
Joltes, Jim Jones, Cynthia Kandolf, Diane Kelly, Phil Kernick, Ron
Knight, Andrew Lewis, Susan Mudgett, Bill Nelson, Tom Neff, Bob 
O'Brien, 
Jonathan Papai, Christophe Pettus, saki,  G. Paul Savage, Brian 
Scearce, 
Sean Smith, Randal Schwartz, Ken Shirriff, snopes, Doug Spindler, 
Haakon 
Styri, Derek Tearne, Bruce Tindall, Dwight Tovey, Peter van der 
Linden, Greg Widdicombe, and Dan Wright.

OTHERS?

Have you ever wondered how those people have gotten the name at the 
end
of the FAQ list?  They are people who are widely recognized as 
thoughtful 
posters of reliable information. They have consistently added value to 
various debates by sharing their point of view, and often researching 
difficult questions which arise on the net, and posting authoritative 
facts 
citing sources.

The official way for joining the list of distinguished AFU-ers is to
research a number of the unanswered questions that come now and then
and reach a definitive conclusion (or demonstrate that one cannot be 
found).  Post your findings.  If your reports are sound, and have
provide a reasonable contribution to the signal-to-noise ratio of
the newsgroup, and the original question was non-trivial, you will 
be added to the acknowledgements section of the FAQ list!  Be prepared 
to submit references.  We are mostly adults here (except around the 
beginning of the academic year).  Be prepared to discuss and debate 
your research and conclusions here.  The unofficial way to get on the 
list is to give me a big payoff (and it better be more than two-
fifty).


INCREDIBLE NEW REFERENCE:

Peter van der Linden, _Expert C Programming_, 1994, Prentice-Hall.  
   ISBN 0-13-177429-8, paperback, 384 pages, US$32.  An provocative
   and lively excursion into the depths of mental anguish and 
   instability that give rise to urban legends such as C.  Recommended
   for people of all ages and religious persuasions.  If this isn't
   the most spine-tingling book you read this year, you haven't lived!
   So controversial that the Book of the Month Club won't even 
acknowledge
   it!

   Also by the same author: _The Official Handbook of Practical Jokes_ 
   Signet, ISBN 0-451-15873-3, 1989, _The Second Official Handbook of 
   Practical Jokes_, 1991, Signet, ISBN 0-451-16924-7.  


SOME PRIMARY FOLKLORE-SPECIFIC REFERENCES:
==========================================

Jan Harold Brunvand (_The Vanishing Hitchhiker_, 1981, ISBN 0-393-
95169-3;
   _The Choking Doberman_, 1984, ISBN 0-393-30321-7; _The Mexican 
Pet_, 
   1986, ISBN 0-393-30542-2; _Curses! Broiled Again_, 1989, ISBN 0-393-
   30711-5, _The Baby Train_, 1993, ISBN 0-393-03438-0; _The Study of 
   American Folklore_, 3rd Ed., 1986, all published by W.W. Norton); 
   _Folklore: A Study and Research Guide_, 1976, St. Martin's (out of 
   print).  JHB is one of the leading folklorists in this field today 
   and has done much to popularize the study of ULs.  Also has a great 
   back hand and skis a mean "figure 11."  

Alan Dundes, _Cracking Jokes:  Studies of Sick Humor Cycles and
   Stereotypes_, 1987, Ten Speed Press.  Curious about what makes
   sick humor popular?  Check this baby out so you'll be ready the
   next time an Olympian gets whacked with a crowbar.

Alan Dundes and Carl Pagter, _Urban folklore from the Paperwork 
   Empire_, 1975, American Folklore Society.  You want it when?
   Find out about it and other Xerox lore in the modern (or not
   so modern) office in this series of collections by Dundes and 
   Pagter.

Beng af Klintberg, _R&ttan i Pizzan_ (The rat in the pizza. The 
   '&' is an a-with-a-ring-above), Pan, 1990 ISBN 91-1-893831-0.
   Haakon Styri, maintainer of the Norway AFU ftp site says Bengt 
   af Klintberg writes in a Brunvandish style. He lists 100 legends, 
   unfortunately not classified by topic. Though many of the legends 
   are well known in other parts of the world there are a few that 
   may be European.

Iona and Peter Opie, _The Lore and Language of School-Children_, 
   Oxford, Clarendon P., 1972.  Noted poster Jack Campin says:  
   "This [book] has some mind-boggling figures on the speed and 
   effectiveness of folklore transmission by kids."

Paul Smith, _The Complete Book of Office Mis-practice_, 1984,  London; 
   Boston: Routledge & K. Paul, 1984.  Covers some of the same subject 
   matter as Dundes and Pagter.  Other comments by Jack Campin:

      "He's also done a series of popular books with titles 
      incorporating the phrase "Nasty Legends" (rather like 
      Brunvand's stuff) and some heavyweight folklore theory 
      in a series he edits called "Perspectives on Contemporary
      Legend" 

   Smith has also co-authored two books with Gillian Bennett 
   entitled, _Monsters with Iron Teeth_, 1988, and _Perspectives 
   on Contemporary Legend_, 1987, both published by Sheffield 
   Sheffield Academic Press. 

Patricia Turner, _I Heard It Through the Grapevine:  Rumor in African-
   American Culture_, 1993, University of California Press.  Provides
   interesting insights into the propagation of urban legends in
   African-American Culture.


ISCLR:
======

The International Society for Contemporary Legend Research (ISCLR)
has two publications of interest.  

_FOAFtale News_ is the newsletter of the society and contains 
information from around the world along with extensive 
bibliographies and reports and notes from other related publications.  
It is published quarterly.

_Contemporary Legend_ is a refereed journal of scholarly articles
on legends.  It is edited by Paul Smith.

Membership in ISCLR entitles one to both publications.  For US and
Canadian subscription information, write to:  Paul Smith, Department
of Folklore, Memorial University, St. John's, Newfoundland, CANADA
A1C 5S7.  Subscription rates as of July 1994 are US$18 or 10 pounds
(UK).


SOME GOOD PRIMARY REFERENCES:
=============================

Cecil Adams (_The Straight Dope_, 1984, ISBN 0-345-33315-2, _More of 
the
   Straight Dope_, 1988, ISBN 0-345-35145-2, _Return of the Straight
   Dope_, all published by Ballantine Books).  Author of "The Straight 
   Dope" Q&A column of _The Chicago Reader_ and is syndicated in many 
   alternative newspapers.  Worth reading if only for for his writing 
   style.  Contrary to what you may read on a.f.u., he is not 
   related to Marilyn vos "Idiot" Savant but he might be Monty Hall.  
   You can e-mail his editor, Ed Zotti, at ezotti@merle.acns.nwu.edu.

Alfie Kohn, _You Know What They Say...The Truth About Popular 
Beliefs_,
   1990, ISBN 0-06-092115-3, Harper.  Pretty good book with, get this,
   *references* to stuff in the back.  This is a good habit which some
   of you folks may want to try sometime...

Paul Krassner (ed.), _Best of the Realist_, 1984, ISBN 0-89471-287-X, 
   Running Press.  The worst thing about _BotR_, is that the reprints 
   aren't dated.  Otherwise the book is a must, especially for the 
   generation X crowd: articles by Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Robert 
   Anton Wilson, Terry Southern, Mae Brussel, and Margo St. James; art 
   by Rodrigues, S. Clay Wilson, and the pre-carp Richard Guindon.  
Not 
   to mention "The Parts Left Out of the Kennedy Book", "The Case of 
   the Cock-Sure Groupies" (the Plaster Casters), and an illegal 
Groucho 
   Marx quote: "I think the only hope this country has is Nixon's 
   assassination."  [Unfortunately, this appears to be out of print.]

G. & C. Merriam Co., _Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary_, 1977, ISBN 
   0-87779-348-4.  Great bedside reading.  Check it out sometime.  
   There's also the OED, but Bruce Tindall has first dibs on it.

William Poundstone (_Big Secrets_, 1983, Morrow, _Bigger Secrets_, 
1986,
   and _Biggest Secrets_, 1993 Houghton-Mifflin).  Sorry, it's a 
secret.  
   Peter Trei says the stuff on Masons is total BS, but then, he WOULD 
   say that.  Perhaps the weakest of the lot though still on target 
   and somewhat interesting for the most part.

Bruce Tindall and Mark Watson, _Did Mohawks Wear Mohawks?  And Other
   Wonders, Plunders, and Blunders_, Quill - William and Morrow, 1991.
   ISBN 0-688-09859-2.  Damn good book (even if his father did write
   _America:  A Narrative History_) with only one wrong entry so far.  
   Just don't believe what they say about dalmatians, humans, and 
urea.  
   You can even e-mail Bruce on the net at 
tindall@mercury.interpath.net 
   to blast 'im.  

   And wouldn't you know it, the next installment which is appalling
   named _How Does Olive Oil Lose Its Virginity?_ is out.  For even
   more GS check out ISBN #0-688-12681-2 by William and Morrow, 1994.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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The AFU Frequently Asked Questions List has been maintained by 
Terry Chan since July 1991.  Its inception and spirit was due to 
the efforts of Peter van der Linden in February 1991.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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COPYRIGHT STUFF:
----------------
Copyright (c) 1994, Terry Chan and Peter van der Linden.
All Rights Reserved.  Permission for personal, educational or non-
profit use is granted provided this this copyright and notice are 
included in its entirety and remains unaltered.  All other uses must 
receive prior permission in writing from both Terry Chan (at 
TWChan@lbl.gov) and Peter van der Linden (at linden@eng.sun.com).  
Licensing terms on request.
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Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory     | 
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