[Author's Note: When the movie Star Trek: Generations came out, they did
the usual over-done novelization (meaning that it has a lot of B.S. in it
that wasn't in the movie, like most novelizations do). However, it
committed the same insult that the novelization of "All Good Things..." did
by coming out in an expensive hardback edition. Perhaps that was why there
was also a smaller paperback edition made for "younger readers" that sold
for $3.99. Well, I shall continue the line on down to a "First Reader"-type
adaptation that you can give to your "much younger readers" for free.]


                            STAR TREK: GENERATIONS

                             A First Reader Book

                              by Stanley Dunigan


   See Kirk.
   See Kirk fly.
   Fly, Kirk, fly.
   Say, I didn't know Kirks could fly.
   Look! Kirk is wearing a chute.
   Chute Kirk. Chute!
   See Scotty and Chekov on the ground.
   Scotty and Chekov see Kirk.
   Scotty and Chekov look worried.
   Why do Scotty and Chekov look worried?
   Because Scotty and Chekov know Kirk well.
   See Kirk crash painfully to the ground.
   Crash, Kirk, crash!
   See Kirk moan.
   Moan, Kirk, moan.
   See Scotty call Rescue 911.
   See Kirk carried away in an ambulance.
   See Kirk in traction.
   Isn't Kirk a silly guy?
   Is it any wonder that he gets offed in this movie?

   Oh, see the Enterprise.
   The Enterprise isn't finished yet.
   There are still big pieces missing from it.
   The Enterprise looks sort of like the second Death Star.
   We all know what happened to that, don't we?
   See everybody on the spacedock watch the dedication ceremony.
   See the champagne bottle fired at the Enterprise.
   See the champagne bottle hit the Enterprise.
   See the champagne bottle totally destroy the Enterprise.
   See the sheepish technicians bring out the backup Enterprise.
   I wouldn't book passage on the Enterprise for the universe.
   Would you?

   See Kirk on the Enterprise.
   Kirk will never learn his lesson, will he?
   But there's a surprise in store for Kirk this time.
   See Kirk on the bridge of the Enterprise.
   See Captain Harriman let Kirk take over the center seat.
   Captain Harriman isn't very smart, is he?
   See Red Alert sirens immediately go off.
   See a big, weird energy ribbon destroy two transport ships.
   See Scotty beam aboard only a few survivors out of hundreds.
   See the Enterprise get caught in the energy ribbon.
   See Harriman kick himself repeatedly for allowing Kirk to take over.

   See Kirk run.
   Run, Kirk, run!
   Kirk must save the Enterprise.
   Only Kirk can save the Enterprise.
   We've heard that before, haven't we?
   See the bomb Kirk is carrying.
   Kirk wasn't told it was a bomb.
   He thinks it's a deflector array energy enhancer dealie.
   See Kirk plant the bomb in the Enterprise's forward section.
   See Kirk gape in astonishment as the bomb goes off.
   See Kirk go bye-bye.
   Is Kirk dead?
   No, not yet.
   Kirk is now in the Nexus, the Neverland of Star Trek.
   Well, I never!

   See the Enterprise again.
   Is this the same Enterprise we saw before?
   No, it is not.
   It is not even close.
   This Enterprise is an ancient wooden sailing vessel.
   But look!
   Captain Picard is aboard this Enterprise.
   And so is Commander Riker.
   And so is Counselor Troi.
   And so is Commander Data.
   And so is everyone else.
   How can this be?
   Is this another time-travel thing?
   No, it is not.
   See the holodeck.
   The holodeck can do some strange and wonderful things.
   Especially strange.
   See Worf.
   See Worf walk the plank.
   Why is Worf walking the plank?
   Because he has been promoted.
   See Worf promoted.
   See Worf nearly drown.
   See everybody laugh at Worf's predicament.
   See Doctor Crusher explain to Data why this is so funny.
   See Data push Doctor Crusher into the water.
   Is it funny anymore, Doctor Crusher?
   No, it is not.
   See Data run for his artificial life.

   See the pretty green Romulans.
   See the Romulans attack the Amargosa observatory.
   See the observatory call the Enterprise for help.
   Help, Enterprise, help!
   See the Enterprise rush to the observatory's rescue.
   See the Enterprise arrive too late to help.
   See Riker and Worf.
   See Riker and Worf beam down to the observatory.
   Why did Riker and Worf beam down to the observatory?
   Because Riker and Worf were ordered to beam down to the observatory.
   See Riker and Worf search the wreckage for survivors.
   See Worf find a raving lunatic.
   Rave, lunatic, rave.
   See the raving lunatic demand to go back.
   Where does the raving lunatic want to go back to?
   Riker and Worf have absolutely no idea whatsoever.
   They grab the raving lunatic and beam back to the Enterprise.
   Oh, are they in for a time!

   See Data.
   Data isn't like most people.
   Data cannot feel emotions.
   That makes Data sad.
   But if Data can't feel emotions, how can Data be sad?
   No one knows.
   Not even Data.
   But he does have one chance.
   See Data get out his old emotion chip.
   See the cracked emotion chip.
   The emotion chip was damaged when Data recovered it from Lore.
   But does this stop Data from installing it?
   No, it does not.
   See Data in the bar.
   Data is getting drunk.
   Drink, Data, drink!
   See Data stagger around and tell dumb jokes.
   See Data throw up and pass out.
   Is Data happy now?
   We certainly hope so!

   See Doctor Soran.
   Doctor Soran is sitting in the bar.
   Does Guinan see Doctor Soran?
   No, she does not.
   Why doesn't Guinan see Doctor Soran?
   Guinan is busy getting Data drunk.
   See Picard.
   Picard sees Doctor Soran.
   Picard sits down next to Doctor Soran.
   See Soran demand to be allowed to return to the observatory.
   Demand, Soran, demand!
   See Soran make up a bunch of dumb new cliches.
   See Picard realize Soran is totally nuts.
   See Picard decide to humor Soran.
   See Soran grin evilly.
   See Picard wonder if he's made a big mistake.

   See Geordi La Forge.
   Geordi is in the observatory.
   Geordi beamed down with Data.
   Did Geordi want to beam down with Data?
   No, he did not.
   Data is still very tipsy from his alcohol binge.
   See Data laugh uncontrollably.
   See Data collapse in a senseless heap.
   See Geordi run to Data's side.
   Geordi is worried about Data.
   Uh, oh!
   See Doctor Soran.
   Does Geordi see Doctor Soran?
   Yes, but not soon enough.
   See Doctor Soran sucker-punch Geordi.
   Isn't Doctor Soran a mean guy?

   See Captain Picard.
   Captain Picard is very sad.
   Why is Captain Picard very sad?
   He just found out that his brother and nephew are dead.
   Dead, dead, dead.
   They were roasted like chestnuts over an open fire.
   That is why Captain Picard is very sad.
   Look at Counselor Troi.
   She thinks she's some sort of psychiatrist.
   See Troi try to comfort Picard with dumb Freudisms.
   See Picard weep all the louder.
   See Troi lose her license to practice.
   It's about time!

   See Doctor Soran.
   Doctor Soran just launched a trilithium bomb.
   Where is the bomb headed?
   It is headed for the Amargosa star.
   Does the Enterprise see the bomb?
   Apparently not.
   The Enterprise does nothing to stop the bomb.
   Nothing, nothing, nothing.
   See the Amargosa star explode.
   See it go BOOM!
   See the entire star system destroyed.
   See the Enterprise barely get away in time.
   But what about Data and Geordi?
   Data is on the Enterprise.
   Geordi is not on the Enterprise.
   Uh, oh!
   Where is Geordi?
   Has anyone seen Geordi?
   Doctor Soran has seen Geordi.
   Doctor Soran has taken Geordi prisoner.
   Isn't Doctor Soran just the naughtiest thing ever?

   Oh, see the pretty bird!
   Does the bird have feathers?
   No, the bird does not have feathers.
   Why doesn't the bird have feathers?
   I thought all birds had feathers.
   It is not an ordinary bird.
   Is it a penguin?
   No, it is not.
   It is a Klingon bird of prey.
   Pray, Klingons, pray.
   Oh, see the pretty Klingon sisters.
   Are the pretty Klingon sisters named Lursa and B'Etor?
   Yes, they are.
   Have they appeared on Star Trek before?
   Yes, they have.
   Will that save them this time?
   No, it will not.
   Oh, look! Doctor Soran has come to the Klingon bridge.
   See Doctor Soran use B'Etor's head as a punching bag.
   See B'Etor prepare to kill Doctor Soran.
   See Doctor Soran remind them that they still need him.
   See Doctor Soran give them encoded plans to the trilithium bomb.
   See Lursa and B'Etor get all excited.
   Why are Lursa and B'Etor excited?
   Because they can use the bomb to destroy millions.
   It seems Lursa and B'Etor are no better than Doctor Soran.
   Too bad!

   See Guinan.
   Guinan is relaxing in her quarters after a hard day's work.
   Does Guinan want to be disturbed right now?
   No, she does not.
   Is Guinan disturbed right now?
   Yes, she is.
   See Picard disturb Guinan.
   See Picard ask Guinan about Soran.
   See Guinan look totally surprised.
   See Guinan tell Picard about the Nexus.
   See Picard look worried.
   Worry, Picard, worry.
   Do Guinan's warnings stop Picard?
   Can anything stop Picard?
   No, it can not.
   Picard is going anyway.
   How childish!

   Oh, look! We found Geordi!
   See Geordi scream.
   Scream, Geordi, scream.
   Why is Geordi screaming?
   See Doctor Soran.
   Doctor Soran is torturing Geordi.
   He is using a special technique he learned at Borg U.
   Did the Borg teach him well?
   Just ask Geordi.
   He'll tell you.

   See Captain Picard.
   Captain Picard is pacing nervously in the Stellar Cartography room.
   Why is Captain Picard pacing nervously?
   Because Data is making dumb jokes instead of doing his job.
   See Data make dumb jokes.
   See Data get reprimanded.
   See Data blame it all on his malfunctioning emotion chip.
   Does Picard really give a ^&$?
   No, he does not.
   See Picard order Data to get going in there.
   Does Data finally get down to business?
   Yes, he finally does.
   Does Data find out anything useful?
   Yes, he does.
   Is Data responsible for sending them all to their doom?
   Yes, he is.
   But wait and see.

   See the Klingon bird of prey.
   Does the Klingon bird of prey see the Enterprise?
   Yes, it does.
   Does the Klingon bird of prey attack the Enterprise?
   Yes, it does.
   But not yet.
   First, it returns Geordi to the Enterprise.
   Wasn't that nice of Lursa and B'Etor?
   No, it was not.
   Lursa and B'Etor attached a video camera to the side of Geordi's head.
   Does Geordi know about the video camera?
   No, he does not.
   Does anyone on the Enterprise notice the video camera?
   No, they do not.
   They think it is just part of some funny joke.
   Laugh, Enterprise, laugh.
   Laugh while you still can.

   Oh, see Picard now.
   Where is Picard now?
   Picard is now on the surface of Veridian III.
   Does Picard know he is on Veridian III?
   Picard knows nothing except that he must stop Doctor Soran.
   Does Doctor Soran want to be stopped?
   No, he does not.
   That is why Doctor Soran has erected a force field.
   Does Picard feel the force field?
   Yes, he does.
   Can Captain Picard get through the force field?
   No, he can not.
   See Captain Picard throw himself on the ground in a fit.
   See Captain Picard fall into a hole.
   See Captain Picard crawl through the hole under the force field.
   Does Doctor Soran see Picard?
   Yes, the dirty rat!
   Doctor Soran shoots at Picard.
   Doctor Soran is the meanest, nastiest guy ever!

   See the Enterprise burn.
   Burn, Enterprise, burn!
   Why is the Enterprise burning?
   Was some kid playing with matches?
   No, that's not it.
   See the mean old Klingon ship.
   The mean old Klingon ship is shooting the Enterprise.
   Why is the Enterprise such a wimpy ship all of a sudden?
   Because of the video camera on Geordi.
   See Geordi.
   See Geordi look at the Enterprise's shield readouts.
   See Lursa and B'Etor look at the Enterprise's shield readouts.
   See Lursa and B'Etor use that information to trash the Enterprise.
   Why doesn't anyone destroy the video camera?
   Why doesn't anyone change the shield's modulation frequency?
   Why is Riker such an incompetent nincompoop?
   Why does everything get blown all to heck in this movie?
   Why, why, why?

   See Picard again.
   Is Picard successful in stopping Doctor Soran?
   No, he is not.
   See Picard fight with Soran.
   See Picard knock Soran silly.
   See Picard run over to the solar probe with the trilithium bomb.
   See Picard accidentally press the GO button on the probe.
   See the probe launch.
   See the probe enter the star.
   See the star explode.
   See the remains of the Enterprise, Picard, Soran, and all destroyed.
   See you later.

   Oh, see Picard.
   Is Picard dead?
   No, Picard is not dead.
   Picard can't die.
   Picard was thrown into the Nexus.
   Nex us. Nex!
   See Picard with his family at Christmas time.
   What family?
   What Christmas time?
   See the writers' pitiful attempt to make this into a Christmas movie.
   Do they succeed?
   No, they most certainly do not.
   See Picard meet the Ghost of Guinan Past.
   Does the ghost tell Picard what the heck is going on around here?
   Yes, it does.
   Sorta.

   Oh, say! Can you see?
   Captain Kirk is alive and well.
   And chopping firewood.
   Chop, Kirk, chop!
   Kirk had better be careful, or he won't be alive and well for long.
   But does Kirk worry?
   No, he does not.
   Is Kirk happy?
   Yes, he is.
   Kirk is in the Nexus, too.
   Is the Nexus like Neverland?
   Why, yes, it is.
   It is a happy-happy, joy-joy place where nobody ever dies or gets hurt.
   Is Kirk satisfied and content here?
   No, he is not.
   Does he know that?
   Not until Picard arrives and bursts his balloon.
   Come to think of it, Picard is a pretty mean fellow.

   See the pretty horses.
   The horses are in the Nexus, same as everybody else.
   Are the horses happy and content?
   No, they are not.
   They are being ridden by Kirk and Picard.
   Why are Kirk and Picard riding horses?
   Because they want to show off their horsemanship.
   See Kirk and Picard on the ground.
   See the horses run off laughing.
   Some horsemanship!
   See Picard convince Kirk that the Nexus isn't so wonderful after all.
   See Kirk and Picard return to reality.
   How do Kirk and Picard return to reality?
   I don't know.
   I suppose they just wished upon a star.
   That sort of thing happens in Nexusland every day.

   See Picard back with Soran on Veridian III.
   Does Picard stop Soran this time?
   No, he does not.
   Does Soran succeed again?
   No, he does not.
   Why didn't Soran succeed again?
   See Kirk.
   See Kirk run.
   See Kirk run up to Soran and punch him in his big splatty nose.
   See Picard take advantage of the distraction to screw up the probe.
   See the probe crash harmlessly nearby.
   See Kirk brag about the 24th century not being so tough.
   See Soran shoot Kirk in the back.
   That does it!
   Soran is now the nastiest fiend in all of history!
   See Picard blast Soran into oblivion.
   Thank you, Picard, thank you!
   See Kirk die.
   Die, Kirk, die!
   It's about time, isn't it?
   Picard thinks so.
   Now he is the one and only Star Trek captain.
   Until that stupid new Voyager series premieres, that is.

   See the shaky shuddercraft approach Kirk's grave.
   See the shuddercraft crash.
   See Riker stagger out of the wreckage and approach Picard.
   See Riker tell Picard that the Enterprise is totally smashed.
   See Picard punch Riker out.
   See Picard call his crew a bunch of incompetent idiots.
   Is Picard being a bad boy?
   Not really.
   He's just releasing his pent-up frustrations.
   As Troi would doubtless say.
   If she were ever allowed to counsel in this galaxy again.

   See Spot.
   Spot is in the flying saucer section's wreckage.
   Does Data see Spot?
   No, he does not.
   This makes Data very sad.
   Spot is Data's favorite pet.
   See Data frantically search for Spot.
   Search, Data, search!
   See Counselor Troi help Data.
   Help, Troi, help.
   See Troi find Spot first.
   See Data throw a bunch of debris and wreckage at Troi.
   See Data pick up Spot.
   See Data scold Spot for being so dirty.

   See Picard cry.
   Cry, Picard, cry.
   Picard is very sad.
   His ship is destroyed.
   His brother and nephew are dead.
   His hero, Kirk, is dead.
   Even his pet fish are dead!
   Poor little Picard.
   Oh, say, look at this!
   Picard is suddenly brightening.
   See Picard brighten.
   See Picard get an evil glint in his eye.
   Glint, eye, glint.
   Glint like Soran's eye used to glint.
   See Picard realize the advantages of life in the Nexus.
   See Picard begin to become desperate to return to the Nexus.
   See Picard vow to return to the Nexus at any cost.
   Ho, boy! Here we go again.
