                               BROTHERS GRUNT



   By Abe Dashiell (adashiel@silver.ucs.indiana.edu)

   The Brother's Grunt is the creation of Michael Antonucci and Mtv.

   History:

   The Brothers Grunt is thought to be one of the oldest of the ghoul
   families. So ancient are they that the two clans most known for the
   creation of revenant lines, the Tzimisce and the Malkavians, have no
   idea how or even when the Grunts began. In fact, they are classified
   as revenants only because they share many traits in common, most
   notably their mastery of certain Disciplines. The Tremere have
   postulated that they were once leeches who fed off Nosferatu, and by
   some means, gained a semblance of humanity. The Garou believe them to
   be Fomori spawned by the Wyld, while a few mages suspect they are
   Paradox in physical form.

   The Grunts themselves have had many theories of their origin, though
   the one presently in vogue is a corruption of modern-day theories of
   evolution. It is their belief that the first of their kind was a
   swamp-dwelling beast known as _Gruntus Notquiteus_. As you probably
   have guessed, their grasp of Latin leaves much to be desired, but then
   again, their grasp of *any* language is poor at best. Supposedly, the
   _Gruntus Notquiteus_ emerged from the primordial ooze and thus
   initiated the Grunt's conquest of the land. The Grunts are much more
   vague about what follows. They speak of eons of persecution heaped,
   perhaps understandlably, upon them by mankind. For the greater part of
   their history, they survived alone and on the peripheries of society.

   At this point, it may be beneficial to understand the method of
   reproduction employed by the Grunts and how it contributed to their
   wide pattern of dispersal. Undoubtedly, this is their most alien
   aspect. While most Grunts are vaguely masculine in appearance, in
   truth they possess no sexuality -- at least not physically. In some
   respects, a Grunt is very much like a worker ant; it is sterile, and
   never directly participates in reproduction. Instead, certain Grunts
   eventually transform into "Gruntus Primus Maximi," the Grunt
   equivalent to a Queen bee. A "Maximus" is a massive Grunt, perhaps
   fifty feet tall and resembling a cross between the Stay-Puft
   Marshmallow Man and Jabba the Hutt. Too huge to support their own
   weight, they instead levitate, gently floating from place to place.
   Those who have seen a Maximus are awed and disgusted all at once. A
   Son of Ether described one as a "huge mound of breasts, veins and pale
   flesh, buoyed up by its own flatulence." The Maximus's sole purpose in
   life it to reproduce and in this it truly an expert. As it floats over
   the countryside, it will expel infant Grunts from its many incubation
   patches, which incidentally, closely resemble the vestigial breasts of
   a grossly overweight man. Sometimes it may release several Grunts at
   once, but in any case, it provides no parental care, continuing on its
   way and letting its offspring fend for themselves. Fortunately, the
   Grunt is a tough creature, for it often must survive falls of twenty
   feet or more, cushioned only by remnants of its amniotic sac.

   However, near the end of the Mythic Age, a Grunt called the "5th of
   Kevin" managed to improve the lives of Grunts appreciably. When
   birthed, instead of dropping to the ground, he managed to latch hold
   of his Maximus. There, he grew to maturity and from the back of the
   Maximus, he attempted to rally the other Grunts to his cause.
   Unfortunately, years of persecution had made the species cautious and
   distrustful of others, even those of their own kind. Not deterred, the
   5th of Kevin built a great monastery and within a cavern beneath,
   housed the exalted Gruntus Primus Maximus. He then climbed to the top
   of the Monastery's tower and called to his brothers. He had developed
   new powers that allowed him to contact all his brethren. And they
   came. From all over the world, Grunts arrived at the Monastery and
   thus formed the Brotherhood that has survived to this day.

   In fact, in the modern age, The Monastery is the only place where a
   Grunt may find solace. With the rise of the Technocracy and the
   expulsion of many supernatural beings, the Grunts' only means of
   reproduction, the Maximi, were driven out of the physical realm.
   Indeed, the only one remaining is jealously protected by the Grunts of
   the Monastery. However, this is not to say that the Grunts are a dying
   breed. Because they are much more capable of taking care of their
   young, Grunt mortality has plummeted. Some have even re-entered the
   world of the humanity, relying on the increasingly impersonal nature
   of mankind to conceal their odd appearance.

   Society:

   Life at the Monastery is the Grunt vision of Paradise. They have no
   worries and few responsibilities. Fortunately, very few Non-Grunts
   have ever visited the Monastery and not even the Tremere or the Order
   of Hermes has even the slightest idea where it is located. In fact,
   few have even heard of the Brothers Grunt. This has protected them
   from intrusion by other supernatural creatures.

   Thus, the Grunts are, for the most part, very naive. They spend most
   of their days having cold martinis and melted cheese, pulling on each
   others nipples and playfully slapping each other's faces. Their life
   is centered around the teachings and rituals past down since the time
   of the 5th of Kevin, and when they are not socializing, they attend
   great congregations, listening to the wisdom of their elders. Their
   high leader, known as the Chosen One, is, well, chosen, during one of
   these rituals. The newest Chosen One, Perry, however, refused his
   throne and fled the Monastery. This has thrown the Brothers Grunt into
   chaos, and his five brothers, Tony, Bing, Dean, Frank and Sammy have
   been sent out to find him. Unfortunately, in their naivete and
   inexperience, they have not met with much success. They *have*
   attracted some unwanted attention to themselves. Perry, on the other
   hand, seems to be adjusting exceptionally well -- perhaps this is why
   he is the Chosen One.

   Appearance:

   Grunts are a rather homely breed. Their skin is pasty white, their
   hair is grey, their tongues a warty green and they have bulging,
   jaundiced eyeballs. Their most distinguishing feature, however, is the
   bulging, varicose veins and arteries that especially grace their
   necks, backs and foreheads. It is worth noting that the vein pattern
   on no two Grunts will be exactly alike.

   For the most part, Grunts disdain clothing, though they will often
   wear monastic robes during their congregations. Most of the time, they
   will dress only in socks, wingtips and gaudy boxer shorts. Each Grunt
   has his own "colors" and this is another method to distinguish one
   from another.

   Finally, while all Grunts can understand one another, few are able to
   speak a tongue understandable to other sentient beings (though they
   may understand them). They are known as "Grunts" primarily because
   their speech consists of a bunch of grunts. Each individual Grunt has
   his own "dialect," however.

   Disciplines: Fortitude, Vicissitude, Gruntitude (see below)

   Weaknesses: Grunts begin with no dots in Apperance and may never have
   more than a one in this attribute. Furthermore, they cannot speak
   human languages, though they understand each other and can understand
   other languages. The eldest Grunts, especially those who have mastered
   Vicissitude, are capable of speech, but these individuals are rare.

   Stereotypes:

   Everybody: Eeeoooooouuuuughhhh!?

   Huh? Hey, weren't they on Mtv?

   -Everybody else.

   Story ideas: Encounters with the Brothers Grunt may occur as a means
   of lightening an excessively oppressive chronicle. Perhaps the
   characters could even get involved with the five brothers' hunt for
   the Chosen One.

   View Gruntitude discipline.
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