
          POLISH THE PRESS RELEASE 

           Copyright 1994 Marcia Yudkin.  You may reproduce this
           entire electronic book and pass it on as shareware.  All
           other rights reserved.


               While consulting with clients peddling everything from
           high-tech products to everyday services, I've noticed
           certain errors cropping up again and again.  As a beginning
           do-it-yourself publicist, you'll easily get the format right,
           but if you commit any of these four blunders, your work will
           end up in the newsroom's trash can.

           1.  Any hint of advertising.

               When the media publicize your product or service at no
           cost to you, they are practicing journalism, not advertising. 
           So, your release gets trashed if you leave in any clues of
           being insensitive to the difference.

               The most telltale difference between journalism and
           advertising is that grammatically, ads address themselves
           directly to the reader while journalism usually employs
           third-person writing.  Try to avoid the word "you" or "your"
           in the headline or main text of a release.

               Instead of "Now you can shop for worms without leaving
           home," for example, write, "Now fishing enthusiasts can shop
           for worms without leaving home."  In place of "Call 888-777-
           7788 for the store nearest you," write, "Interested parties
           can call 888-777-7788 for further information."

           2.  The merest smidgen of hype.

               Avoid the rushed, over-enthusiastic tone of an
           infomercial.  In print, this means staying away from
           exclamation marks and from any self-praise that is not
           factual.  Attribute any subjective comments, accolades or
           predictions about the success of your offering to named
           individuals within quotation marks -- preferably to third
           parties not connected with your company, like customers or
           industry experts.  (Of course, you need those third parties'
           permission to do this.)

               For instance, "A Garage-for-You franchise offers an ideal
           way for handy men and women to earn an impressive income in
           their spare time" represents an unsupported opinion.  You can
           fix it by explaining what makes it ideal, as in, "Because of
           its low buy-in fee and easy-to-follow marketing methods, a
           Garage-for-You franchise..."  Or, you can fix it by saying
           who says the franchise is ideal -- a satisfied franchisee,
           named and located, or some sort of uninvolved business
           leader.

           3.  Lack of focus.

               You'll be tempted to toss in everything that makes you
           mediaworthy.  Don't.  Make sure you have one central point in
           each release and that you include only the background and
           commentary that supports that point.  Diffuse copy gets
           confusing, and dilutes the impact of your primary message.

          4.  Vague characterizations.

               If someone can read your release and respond, "Yes, but
           what IS it?" you have failed.  I have seen press releases for
           new products that I could not visualize from the verbiage, or
           for services that I didn't have a clue how they would work. 
           You're always better off including too many details about
           your offering than too few.  If in doubt, have someone
           unfamiliar with your product or service read the release and
           ask them to describe what you trying to publicize.

               The key word to remember is "detail."  Instead of
           "Jackson's new book contains information designed to benefit
           any stock market investor," write, "Jackson's new book
           contains seven principles of market analysis that enable even
           casual investors to choose profitable stocks."  Even better,
           describe two of the seven principles right in the release.

           To sum up:

           * Don't address the reader/prospect directly in a release.
           Stick rigorously to a third-person approach.

           * Stay away from signs of hype, like exclamation marks and
           unsupported adjectives.  Focus on the facts, and attribute
           any opinions to named individuals.

           * Concentrate on one media message per press release.  If you
           have lots to tell, issue a series of releases.

           * Be specific.  Give as much detail as you can to whet the
           media's appetite for more.

           * And make sure you've eliminated mistakes in spelling,
           punctuation and grammar.  One poorly written press release
           earned coverage in the Wall Street Journal -- as a prime
           example of incoherent, careless communication.

              For more tips, consult SIX STEPS TO FREE PUBLICITY by
           Marcia Yudkin (Plume Books), available at your local bookstore or
           from (617)266-1613.

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